Soap and Wood ~ This soap box isn't for a bar of soap. You already have one. I'm not stupid. This is for a dozen bars, or cakes, in the shower. Where you can get a new one out, without getting out of the shower wet and pissed off.
It's a Happy Box. Like a mail box, with a flip top lid. And those assholes at the post office have no jurisdiction over the design. I might stamp USPO Approved on it, just to piss them off. United Soap Protectors Office. I don't like those guys anymore.
We can sell the refills.
"Timbers" ~ live forest ~ are "stand." Standing board feet; or "stumpage."
(The kids next door think Stumpy's name is Stumpfee. Which is something you get or pay for sawlogs cut from standing timber. I laugh every time they say that. It's so Northwest. They're cute as heck. "Stumpfee was over at our house.")
(Everything around here is stumpage; even from back when they had trees.) "Stumps Don't Lie."
(They don't yell "Tim-berrrr!" anymore, either; they yell "Fire in the toaster!")
"Timbers" are big boards. Boards are one bys and sometimes two bys. Minimum timber dementia is four inches. Some people don't consider a 4 x 6 a "timber," and a 4 x 4 is really kind of just a 4 x 4. (Forbuhfor.) But a 4 x 8 is getting to be a timber; especially a long one. Anything with a min 6 dim is a timber, for shore. They get heavy fast.
A lot of the buildings in Portland have foot and a half by three foot by twenty foot "girders," which are "honkin timbers" holding up ~ timbers. (Or "joists.") (Joists are boards or timbers which rest atop girders and hold up floor or ceiling boards.)
"Cants", rhymes with "rants", are big timbers. Too. A squared off log, the curved edges removed, is a cant. We shipped all of the clear (knotless, perfect) old-growth cants to Japan, where they are storing them to ship back, later, when we realize what idiots we are. (Seriously. Dead.) CVG (seeveegee) is clear-vertical grain. Expensive.
Peavies and cant hooks, or you can't move them.
The decks of the carriers at Midway were timbers cut in the Columbia Gorge and were a foot and a half thick, seven feet wide, and twenty feet long. THAT, is a timber. Wood decks splinter real bad in bomb explosions, but they don't collapse in fires and they absorb a lot of shock. You'd be shocked too.
So, a 6x6 (not "squared off" ~ sheesh!!) is a timber.
Oh ~ and a circular saw is a sidewinder; and the other saw, the fifteen pound Porter Cable framers use, is a worm-drive.
Splinters are timburrs. Jus kidding.
And Dash's Other Name, besides "Dash. Dash Datsun", is: "Nails. Nails Motley." He holds out his hand, when he needs some nails (e.g., "sixteens") ("sinkers") and says, "Nails. Nails Motley." You, will be Bucko, Scissorbill, or Studebaker Body.
Yah. Standing trees are standing trees. Or "footage."
No one around here, no one, ever, says "forest." Or "far-rist." Why don't you just hang your Illinois license plate on some old lady glasses chains on your front there. Really. It's "the woods." I must go on sometime and tell you where/how, Oregon originated the term "bullshit." I'm serious. WE did it. heh heh. Of carse.
Oh; one last thing. I promise. "Pecker pole", is a real thing. You can buy them, or complain that's what your getting. "Nothing but bullshit pecker poles." You would think this would be big trees, but they're not. There's big, and then there's big. |
