MODERN DARWINISM
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
And while I'm on the beer theme:
THE BEER PRAYER
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
And I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who have spilled upon us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter,
And the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen.
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