Softie versus the Motors...or, a little light humour while we here in the mountain wait for the bear...
enjoy
Here it is again...
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GM DRIVES BACK!
>
>
> At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
> compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
> stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer
> industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars
> that got 1000 miles to the gallon."
>
> In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
>release stating (by Mr. Welch himself, the GM CEO):
>"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all
> be driving cars with the following characteristics:
>
>1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
>
>2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would
> have to buy a new car.
>
>3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason
> and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
>
>4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would
> cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which
> case you would have to reinstall the engine.
>
>5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you
> bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to
> buy more seats.
>
>6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun,
> reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but
> would only run on five per cent of the roads.
>
>7.The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would
> be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
>
>8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
>
>
>9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
>
>10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock
> you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted
> the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio
> antenna.
>
>11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe
> set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary),
> even though they neither need them nor want them.
> Attempting to delete this option would immediately
> cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more.
> Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation
> by the Justice Department.
>
>12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would
> have to learn how to drive all over again because none of
> the controls would operate in the same manner as the
> old car.
>
>
>13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
>
>
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