Edwarda, I know you're a friend of impristine's; this msg is to all.
I got impristine's permission to post a couple of his PM's here. I like him very much and hold him in some awe and wish others knew more about impristine and where he is in his life and how he came to be there. Read these and you'll understand more. I'd suggest reading the second one aloud.
1.
i am really nuts right now,
about as nuts as i've ever been,
and i don't quite know what to do with myself,
i'm definitely acting out of anger,
and sarcasm,
right now...
but i don't really care,
at the moment,
i don't really care,
i really feel like they fired,
the first shot,
and the second shot,
and the third shot,
and i just kept on plugging away,
and every shot,
just made me more sure that i had them
defensive,
but now i have gone on the attack,
which i don't know if it is typical of me...
i would love to look any of them in the eye,
and say,
hey,
you don't know me,
you should judge me,
i don't judge you,you have your issues,
i have my issues,
i am stared at every day,
every hour of every day,
my speech is questioned
everytime i open my mouth,
who are you to judge me on
what is appropriate,
and what is not appropriate....
2.
one thing i've noticed about these boards,
when anyone is ripping on a company,
and the arguments turn personal,it's generally the guy who is doing
the personal ripping,
who is wrong,
and i feel like i have really lowered,
myself recently,
i've let this get to a personal level,
and i feel like i'm not in that same mode,
i think i will try to stay away from
si for a while,
i guess that's what si wants anyway,
i guess they win,
maybe my spirit,
and my core is angry,
as christine grace
bartley says,
maybe i am everything she said about me,
though i really don't feel that way,
i mean,
shit,
i look at myself in the mirror every day,
i am reminded every time i try to swallow my
own saliva,
i am reminded every time i turn my head,
i am reminded every time i take a bite of food,
or speak a word,
i am reminded who i am,
and where i've been,
and what i'm facing,
and where i was,and where i think i'm going,
i'm reminded every day,
of every hour,
for years,
i would wake up in the morning
thinking that i was going to die,
that i better live,
while the living was good,
every morning,
every day,
every hour,
and i didn't die,
and then it was like,
wow,
what do i do now,
where am i,
what do i want to do now,
that i didn't die,
if i could put my whole life,
in to one day,
if i could put my whole life,
in to one hour,
if i could do that,
how would i spend my day,
what would i think about,
what would i talk about,
who would i spend my time with,
what would i say,
what would i think about,
what would i do,
if i could put my whole life,
in to one day...
i will let this rest,
my dear...
thanks for letting me talk...<gg>
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