THE YELLOW ROSE OF TEXAS/ DIAL 1-800 DIAMOND
(Here's a bit of the Mitch Miller version to get you humming:)
There's a yellow rose in Texas, That I am going to see,
Nobody else could miss her, Not half as much as me.
She cried so when I left her It like to broke my heart,
And if I ever find her, We nevermore will part.
Here's the Tomato version:
Dial 1- 800 Diamond
To meet your diamond needs,
We're called Winspear Resources,
We've done some glorious deeds,
Past Yellowknife we found a spot
With rich and wondrous stones,
We're here to take you order,
Grab your VISA card and phone
You'll press “1” to talk to Sophie,
Our specialist in sales,
She'll fix you up with rings which,
She'll send you through the mails,
Punch “2” to talk to Randy,
The leader of the pack,
If he's not out grabbing options
He'll be sure to call you back
Please press “3” for Pokhelenko
With a mind that's surely blessed
If he were head of Russia
They'd not be in a mess,
He can also sell you vodka
We'll send it in dry ice
Along with special caviar
You'll find them both quite nice
Finally “4” will get Giuseppe,
Who's known as Average Joe,
He shorted lots of Winspear,
And now he's lost his dough,
So we hired him and John Paquet,
Who also sang the blues,
Just remember to talk slowly,
Both these boys have low IQs
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