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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: richard surckla who wrote (2247)6/11/1999 12:43:00 PM
From: Nite-Man  Respond to of 2733
 
An engineer dies and reports to to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer..you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer "So,
how's it going down there in hell? Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next!"

God replies, "What???? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake! He
should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on staff and I'm keeping him!"

God says, "You send him back up here or I'll sue!"

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right! And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"




To: richard surckla who wrote (2247)6/11/1999 1:00:00 PM
From: The Philosopher  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 2733
 
At the prodding of the prosecution
Thursday, a witness let loose a
stream of obscenities during the trial
of a Michigan man who is accused
of violating a century-old law against
cussing in front of women and
children.

"I want out of this (obscenity) river,
get that (obscenity) canoe back here
-- (obscenities and obscenities),"
witness Michael Smith hollered from the witness stand.

Smith was describing what he said he, his children, aged two and five, and
his wife heard from Timothy Boomer after Boomer fell out of his canoe last
August.

"I was afraid for my family. My adrenaline was rushing, my hands were
tingling, my wife was covering my daughter's ears and I was trying to get
through there as fast as I could," Smith testified.

The cussing under oath took place in front of four women on the jury and
several in the courtroom gallery.

"The language (Boomer used) was indecent language. It was insulting. Some
might consider it to be immoral," said prosecutor Rich Vollbach of Arenac
County, Michigan.

Defendent tight-lipped

Boomer's attorney, supplied by the American Civil Liberties Union,
maintained the case is outrageous.

"A man is being prosecuted at the end of the 20th century for a speech crime
under a law that was written back when the sensitivities of women were
equated with the sensitivities of children," said defense attorney William
Street.

"It's an old, arcane law. No one should be prosecuted under that law,"
argued Street.

Several potential jurors were excused Thursday after saying they did not
think they could set aside their opinions and be fair, according to Street.

Boomer, the man whose mouth got him arrested, did not talk Thursday.

The 25-year-old factory worker has said previously he won't repeat the
string of obscenities shouted last August when he fell out of his canoe after it
hit a rock on the Rifle River.

Boomer doesn't deny that he used some foul language, but says he didn't
know children were nearby in the recreation area about 120 miles north of
Detroit.

Boomer was charged by a passing sheriff's deputy under a 101-year-old
Michigan law that prohibits using any indecent, immoral, vulgar or insulting
language in the presence of women and children.

Boomer has said previously that he can't believe he could face a $100 fine
and 90 days in jail just for swearing.

"I thought it was a lie," Boomer said. "I (thought) the officers were out to
patrol underage drinking, and I got accused of a 101-year-old law."

'Law is asinine'

"He was mad, he was wet, it was an emotional reaction," said Kary Moss of
the ACLU. "Can you imagine if we have police starting to go out and arrest
people because they swear on the street?"

"(Author Charles) Dickens said 'the law is an ass,' and in this case the law is
asinine in attempting to criminally prosecute a man who wanted to apologize
for uttering some cuss words after falling in a river," said Larry Dubin, a
professor at the University of Detroit-Mercy Law School.

But Vollbach said he had no choice but to take the case to court.

"Mr. Boomer wasn't expressing any thoughts or ideas at the time. Certainly
this couldn't be considered artistic, so I don't think there was First
Amendment coverage for what he did that day," Vollbach said.

To swear, or not to swear

Many residents in rural Arenac County hope the case will help make
common courtesy fashionable once more.

"With women and children around, he should have held it down," said one
man.

"I just hope the message gets out that we should respect each other," said
Ladd White, who runs a canoe livery along the Rifle River.

"Men are going to be men and swear anyway, and so are women,"
countered another resident.

No 'fighting words' in front of children

Judge Allen Yenior, who is presiding over the trial, ruled in February that the
prohibition on cussing in front of women is unconstitutional.

But Yenior upheld the law as it pertains to children, saying Boomer's alleged
expletives could be considered "fighting words," which the court has ruled
lack constitutional protection.

Win or lose, this trial is turning cussing into a dirty word in the town of
Standish.