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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: FREAKAZOID who wrote (900)	6/11/1999 11:47:00 AM
From: Zbyte	Respond to of 2380

Subject: Gunfighter This young man in the old west wanted to be the best gunfighter alive. One night as he was sitting in a saloon, he spotted an old man who had the reputation of being the greatest gunfighter in his day. The young man walked up to the old man and told him his dream. The old man looked him up and down and said "I have a suggestion that is sure to help.""Tell me, tell me" said the young man. "Tie the bottom of your holster lower onto your leg "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" "Definitely" said the old man. The young guy did what he was told and drew his gun and shot the bowtie off the piano player. "Wow that really helped do you have any more suggestions?" "Yeah, if you cut a notch in the top of your holster where the hammer hits, the gun will come out smoother. "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" "It sure will" said the old man. The young guy did what he was told and drew his gun and shot a cufflink off the piano player. "This is really helping me is there anything else you can share withme?" "One more thing" said the old man. "Get that can of axle grease over there in the corner and rub it all over your gun." The young fellow didn't hesitate but started putting the grease on the gun. "No, the whole gun, handle and everything." said the old man "Will that make me a better gunfighter "No" said the old man, "But when Wyatt Earp gets done playing that piano he's going to shove that gun up your butt, and it won't hurt as much." Revealing Gift Test -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Which gift would you like? To determine your personality, pick the gift you'd most like to receive. 1. Candy 2. Flowers 3. A sweet poem 4. Sex 5. Dinner/Dancing 6. Waffle iron After you've selected, scroll down... 1. CANDY It means that... You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share. OR You're a selfish chocoholic who values a sugar high over everything, even true love. 2. FLOWERS It means that... You love the beauty of nature, the scent of flowers and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture. OR You get some twisted joy out of watching vegetation wither and die. 3. A SWEET POEM It means that... You're a hopeless romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. OR You're used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the power and beauty of the written word. 4. SEX It means that... You are a passionate soul, a free spirit who is not afraid to express your sexuality with another consenting adult and feel that the physical side of love can be meaningful and beautiful. OR You're a filthy degenerate who is no better than a rutting animal living solely for one carnal experience after another. 5. DINNER/DANCING It means that... You enjoy the company of that special someone and the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight. OR You're easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns around the dance floor. 6. WAFFLE IRON It means that... You're a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use. OR You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant sexual fetish involving kitchen appliances.