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Pastimes : SI Grammar and Spelling Lab -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (2946)	6/16/1999 12:39:00 PM
From: jbe	Respond to of 4711

"Odd prose." Another collection of student bloopers, not so much funny as depressing. Reads like a collection of SI stock thread posts. munshi.sonoma.edu

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (2946)	6/16/1999 12:46:00 PM
From: jbe	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 4711

Now, these ARE funny. (IMO, of course.) From medical records, actually dictated by physicians. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes to his feet. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. She has had no rigours or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious. Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful. The patient refused an autopsy. The patient has no past history of suicides. The patient expired on the floor uneventfully. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency. The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room. The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints. munshi.sonoma.edu