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Strategies & Market Trends : India Coffee House -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: SteveJerseyShore who wrote (4546)	6/13/1999 7:19:00 PM
From: Lola	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 12475

It's ok... I often feel the same as you do. It isn't accurate to say that if a woman finds out she is carrying a female child, she must abort it. I would like to think that doesn't happen much anymore but I'm probably just dreaming. One of the things that really turned me off about my family and the possibility of marrying into another Indian family is just what you stated about the aborting of female children. I discovered many ugly secrets about my family... things I just could not believe that any feeling human beings could be capable of. I was raised by my father's mother... she and I lived alone on the second level of a house which our family owned in a little Indian village. She always had a reputation for being "tough". Whenever there was some dirty business that needed doing, everybody always came to her. I never personally saw her perform any acts of extreme violence towards a child but I had heard that she had been responsible for the deaths of many babies... and I'm talking dozens of babies... 5 of which were her own. I refused to believe it thinking there was no way a real human being could actually do this. I adored her and she seemed to adore me. When I was 12 years old and living in Canada, my grandmother came to stay with us for a year. One day I ticked her off and she decided to threaten to kill me. I laughed at her and told her my father would be furious she would even say such a thing. She confessed to me that she had killed my baby sister. I again thought she was pulling my leg since I had never had a sister. But she kept insisting that she was quite capable of killing me if she chose. Again I just ignored her and was not afraid of her... she and I shared a bedroom together... imagine sharing a bedroom with a killer! Later in the day, I decided I wanted to bug my mother just for the hell of it. I asked her about what my grandmother had said and she denied that there had ever been another daughter in our family besides me. I believed her. I have this little quirk in my personality that loves to bug the hell out of people so once again I approached my mother and asked her what the child's name was. You wouldn't believe what she said. She said "We didn't name her". Imagine my horror! It was true... there was another child and the child had been murdered. My grandmother described to me in graphic detail how she murdered my sister. She said the baby was 6 months old when she killed her and she did it by drowning her in a metal bath tub which came with a top. I bugged my mother again about why they wouldn't name a child at the age of 6 months. I guess they really did name her, she just didn't want to tell me because that would make it much more real to me. I cried for weeks mourning my sister's death... everybody thought I was crazy... how could I cry for a child that I was too young to remember even existed (I would have been 2 1/2 years old at the time of my sister's death). But I guess I was really crying for the death of a family. I knew after this incident that there had to be a better kind of family out there than mine. So I found one. Lola:)