To: Instock who wrote (21257 ) 6/14/1999 4:50:00 PM From: Don Pueblo Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 34812
WASHINGTON DC GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST HUNTING REGULATIONS AND BAG LIMITS GENERAL 1. Any person with a valid Washington DC hunting license or a Federal Income Tax Return may harvest government economists. 2. Taking of economists with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3. Killing of economists with a vehicle is prohibited. If one is accidentally struck, remove the dead economist to side of the road and proceed to the nearest car wash. 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest economists from limousines, Mercedes Benzs, the Metro, or Porsches. 5. It shall be unlawful to shout "research contract" or "I need a policy consultant" for the purpose of trapping economists. 6. It shall be unlawful to hunt economists within 100 feet of government buildings. 7. It shall be unlawful to use decision memos, draft legislation, conference reports, or RFP's to attract economists. 8. It shall be unlawful to hunt economists within 200 feet of Senate or House hearing rooms, libraries, massage parlors, special interest group offices, bars, or strip joints. 9. If an economist is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it. It will also be a shame. 10. Stuffed or mounted economists must have a DC Health Department inspection certificate for rabies and vermin. 11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female congressional aid, sheep, legislator, policy maker, bookie, lobbyist, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting economists. BAG LIMITS 1. Econometrician 2 2. Two-faced Policy Analyst 1 3. Macro Policy Wonk 4 4. Big-mouthed Populist 2 5. Relevant Economist EXTINCT 6. Cut-throat Administration Seeker 2 7. Back-stabbing Senior Author 2 8. Brown-nosed Deputy Kisser 2 9. Silver-tongued Congressional Consultant $100 BOUNTY 10. Wise-assed Civil Libertarian 7 11. Staff economist no limit