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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Sidney Reilly who wrote (40501)	6/14/1999 6:19:00 PM
From: Kid Rock	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

Sid, I have come up with some guidelines to know when you've gone too far in cyberland: 1) You log on as a man and log off as a woman and you are wearing lipstick. 2) You log on as a married man but refer to yourself as Gertrude the German born dominatrix(sp). 3) Before logging on you open a bottle of peanut oil and cover your office furniture with glad-wrap - except for the keyboard 4) You have had to replace more than 6 keyboards in a year 5) You have asked the question "how big are your tits?" more than 10 times in one evening. 6) You assure your wife that you are not having computer sex because your computer "doesn't have the right port" 7) You shave your knuckles. 8) You have bianca's smut shack as your home page 9) You've seen a pictures with donkeys, parakeets, and fishing poles, that you could never describe in public. 10) You have decided that your children - in no circumstances - will have an AOL account or the ability to surf the web unattended. Anyway, these are just some guidelines. Tom

To: Sidney Reilly who wrote (40501)	6/14/1999 6:19:00 PM
From: The Philosopher	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

CobaltBlue said some interesting things. Why does the wife put up with it? ??? I understand that CobaltBlue is a woman. And divorced. I HOPE there isn't a wife to put up with it!

To: Sidney Reilly who wrote (40501)	6/14/1999 8:00:00 PM
From: nihil	Respond to of 108807

If the Internet is dead, then everything is permitted!

To: Sidney Reilly who wrote (40501)	6/14/1999 8:01:00 PM
From: nihil	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

Didn't Jesus say something about "he who commits adultery in his heart has committed adultery?"

To: Sidney Reilly who wrote (40501)	6/14/1999 8:16:00 PM
From: E	Respond to of 108807

LOLOL! You are so funny! I knew you'd appreciate my opening joke, Sidney! LOL, really. But seriously.... How can the answer to what is or isn't 'acceptable' behavior on the internet be anything except the same as it has to be to the question of what is or isn't 'acceptable' behavior anywhere else? It's an individual determination, and protocols are evolving, and not much experience has accrued. Let's take the workplace. The wrinkles are still being worked out there, and how long have there been workplaces as compared to chat rooms? And different individuals and workplaces have different 'acceptability' criteria. My brother in law just took a sensitization course in sexual harassment, at his job. He learned that it is not 'acceptable' behavior to pat or slap a colleague on the back, even in a moment of collegial triumph. On the other hand, I have an SI friend whose boss tells her the most appalling, obscene jokes you can imagine. She likes the man as a person, though, he's a good and fair boss, he doesn't make passes, she counts her blessings and isn't offended. I think the individuals involved in hot 'n steamy internet interactions get to decide their acceptability-status themselves in the same way they get to decide whether it's acceptable to them to watch porn for the sexual excitement of it, or read Penthouse, or, if they're literary types, to read Nicholson Baker's Vox, or to flirt with the next door neighbor, or to incorporate sex toys into their lovemaking, or use the toys for free lance masturbation, or for that matter whether it's 'acceptable' to masturbate at all, if they're married, and if they do masturbate, whether it's acceptable to fantasize about individuals other than their spouses or acts and games other than 'acceptable' ones when they're doing it. And you get to think ill of those who draw conclusions about 'acceptability' other than those you draw, if you want, and say that you do, here and elsewhere. Don't we have a great country? As for how couples work this out, that will entail, also, a combination of old questions about drawing lines, and fantasies, and flirting, and the definition of porn and its acceptability to a particular couple, and drawing lines again; and... of new questions entirely. I think the reason the wife, in the case Cobe mentioned, puts up with it is that it is the best option she thinks she has at this time. That's usually the reason people put up with things. Love, yr cute friend, E

To: Sidney Reilly who wrote (40501)	6/14/1999 10:12:00 PM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

Well, to me Internet sex to me is definitely adultery if people are having cyber sex, having orgasms, threatening their relationships with the real people in their lives, ignoring or hurting their spouses, etc. I guess I agree with Jesus, as I often do!

To: Sidney Reilly who wrote (40501)	6/15/1999 4:03:00 PM
From: Ilaine	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

My sister has been married for 25 years. Marriages of that long duration take on lives of their own. I think she has transcended the emotional pain and used it to make positive changes in her life, for example, she is working on her BS in Nursing (she is an RN). She has a BA in something else, but needs a BS in nursing so she can get a MS in nursing which is required for some administrative jobs. And she accepted a promotion to head of a department at her hospital. My brother-in-law was an alcoholic for years, and he was somewhat difficult when he was drinking. She insisted that she would leave him if he did not stop. He has been able to stop drinking, but has substituted Buddhism for drink. The woman he corresponds with is also a recovered alcoholic and a Buddhist, so they have a little support group. I think my sister is afraid to put down her foot for fear that any change may have negative repercussions.