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Pastimes : Ask God -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Barnabus who wrote (25873)	6/16/1999 6:55:00 AM
From: Sam Ferguson	Respond to of 39621

Dear Old Barney I may be ornery and pesky and far from perfect but I have found God who dwells in me and do not need to look for Jesus. I usually try to create an ode for you but that lengthy one has me in Awe of your abilities. My best to you and the Mrs.

To: Barnabus who wrote (25873)	6/17/1999 11:21:00 PM
From: Barnabus	Respond to of 39621

How to get off of the roof Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21:9 A) Roofs are a great benefit <><They protect us from the rain, snow, hail, and sunshine <><They allow us to have a house-full of "things"without being <><exposed to the elements <><They allow us to be "free" from birds and debris coming in B) Roofs were not intended to "house" hen-pecked husbands, but they become added "bonuses" for husband of a quarrelsome wife So---if I find myself on the roof, how do I get down? Firstly, make that roof a positive abode: <><Wave to the neighbors when they go by <><Root for the "home team" and be an energetic cheerleader <><Watch for potential thieves, crooks, robbers with binoculars <><Have a cell phone to report any suspicious activity taking place <><Put up a bill-board and witness for Jesus Secondly, don't denigrate your quarrelsome wife <><Use a placard to mention the positive aspects about your wife <><If she is a good cook, brag about it <><If she keeps a clean house, tell the world <><If she has been a good mother to 'yer kids---let it be known Thirdly, pray without ceasing <><Realize that God wants you to eventually come down off of the roof <><Ask God to change you as well <><Believe in miracles---wives don't like husbands staying on roofs Fourthly, since it takes two to quarrel, learn to keep your mouth shut <><A shut mouth will protect your foot <><A shut mouth will make your quarrelsome wife only listen to herself <><A shut mouth will even help you lose weight Conclusion Those that live in mudhuts cannot utilize the roof, how fortunate we are to have roofs! OMB