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Pastimes : FLAME THREAD - Post all obnoxious/derogatory comments here -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Blue On Black who wrote (6861)	6/22/1999 12:42:00 AM
From: Blue On Black	Respond to of 12754

SI MIDNIGHT RAG (Editors Note - We received another dispatch from our roving reporter which contained - yet another tape and a prepared statement. For reasons that are our own....we went with a transcript of the tape. We still don't know who is being interviewed or if our roving reporter has gotten a little deeper into the 'deep end' than is normal for him) SIMR: Whoooaaa. What a night. Sheeeeiiiittt. I think one of them tequila worms is still in my head. ***:(choke...gag) I think I ate a couple of them myself. We need to get started on this before the day progresses too far. We have this interview thing worked out don't we? Off the record, of course. SIMR: Oh yeah....Anyone that can do what you did last night and still breathe has my complete attention. But I'm fuzzy on what we worked out. *: We are going to do the 'sincere' thing and get it on the wire. You know....anything on the 'wire' is bound to ne true. An objective view like your own will really help. SIMR:Oh....yeah. I promised that, did I? OK...as long as it doesn't compromise my professional ethics. After all, I do have a reputation to maintain. *:I absolutely guarantee that your reputation won't be any worse than it is now. Just read this.... SIMR:The CEO of this company is doing all that he can to guarantee the success of this company in spite of a concerted 'short attack'.... . . What short attack? *:Just read the statement. SIMR:Oh! I'm sorry. I forgot. That short attack got me..........what short attack? *:The one that my psychic and his advisor told me that we were under. Snap out of it.....remember? The people that ask questions? SIMR:Oh, yeah. The people that want documentation. Is that so bad? *:Here take a snort of this tequila. SIMR:(sound of a long slurp) Yeah, I think I might see your point. *:Well, take another drink. SIMR:OK, it's coming back to me.....some dubious financing....... a shaky history..... *:No, we went through that....when Leticia was lap-dancing last night, you understood it perfectly. SIMR:You had a camera, didn't you.....yeah, it's coming back..... you are doing everything to maximize shareholder value...pass that bottle. (sounds of a deep,deep slurp) Yeah, I remember....you under a short attack. Yeah, I can see that. You're getting info from a psychic on how to combat it. And you're getting info from Pigs, the world famous short-squeeze expert......Nah, this is too much to take in. *:No, it is not. Here, take another little nip. SIMR:(sounds of serious 'nipping' of a bottle) Ok, I might can see that, but all these facts...... *:Take another pull..... SIMR:(sounds of sucking on a bottle) Yeah, I can see it. The only explanation is a short attack. Otherwise, you would be worth....$10...(sounds of another serious pull on the bottle), no, $20, I really need to get my life-savings into this. *:Now you understand. See? My goal is to get the shareholder value up....majorly. SIMR: But you have nothing....a bad past and dubious financing. *:Here take another pull. SIMR:(Sound of several bubbles in a bottle) EEEEYYYYAAAAHHHHhhhh. You is right!!!!! If this wasn't under a short attack, it would be worth as much as IBM. The potential is staggering..... *:Well, let's do this report first....but you are right....pardon me while I toot this....(SNORT) SIMR:Well, let me try it too. *:I don't know....this is serious. Can you see $65? SIMR:$65? Ain't no way in hell.... *:Not possible? Here's the bottle. SIMR:(Sounds of a major slurping) $65....yeah, I can see that. Big a IBM...I can see that. ***:Just to clear the nose.....here is the mirror.... SIMR:(Sound of some serious snorting....perfume...we assume)Whooooooaaaa....sheeeeiiiit. I can see it, now. $65 is a minimum. (SNORT) This is bigger than IBM, MSFT, and AT&T combined.....hand me that bottle.....I can definitely see that you have only shareholders in mind...... Success is guaranteed....you have the best psychic feeding you info and the best, most-proven short-attack analyst with 'Pigs'....how can you go wrong? (SNORT) Fundamentals like these don't happen over night..... (Editors note: We feel that lee has lost some objectivity during this interview. Sometimes, one becomes a little 'close' to the story. We hope that lee will return to SIMR and not commit the ultimate act of despair and join 'IR' of this company ...... . . . But we admit that he is a 'sleaze-bag'. (Editors note - The transcript that we were mailed bears little resemblance to the tapes we received. We assume that our reporter is 'burrowing' deeper and not letting his 'professionalism' be compromised....a large assumption, but.....