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To: DownSouth who wrote (22727)	6/17/1999 1:14:00 AM
From: MileHigh	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 93625

OTOT This is a nice read, funny and true! This is an actual essay written by a college applicant. The > >author, Hugh > >Gallagher, was admitted to NYU. > > > >Essay: In order for the admissions staff of our college to get to > >know you, > >the applicant, better, we ask that you answer the following > >question: Are > >there any significant experiences you have had, to define you as > >a person? > > > >I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. > > I have > >been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, > >making them more > >efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for > >Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time > >efficiently. > >Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. > > > >I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I > >can pilot > >bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook > >Thirty-Minute > >Brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in > >love, and > >an outlaw in Peru. > > > >Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once > >single-handedly > >defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of > >ferocious army > >ants. I play Bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Met's, I am > >the subject > >of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large > >suspension > >bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On > >Wednesdays, after > >school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. > > > >I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless > >bookie. > >Critics world wide swoon over my original line of corduroy > >evening wear. I > >don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I > >have > >been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. > >Last Summer, I > >toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force > >demonstration. I bat > >.400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in > >international > >botany circles. Children trust me. > > > >I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly > >accuracy. I > >one read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in > >one day and > >still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I > >know the > >exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have > >performed > >covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do > >sleep I > >sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully > >negotiated > >with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The > >laws of > >physics do not apply to me. > > > >I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On > >weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full contact origami. > >Years > >ago, I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I > >have > >made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a > >toaster oven. > >I breed prize winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, > >cliff-diving competitions in Sri-Lanka, and spelling bees at the > >Kremlin. > >I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I > >have > >spoken with Elvis. > > > >But I have not yet gone to college. > > > > > > > >