Things are at times not as they appear.
OK. So there's this guy who loses all his money when his wife runs away
with a lawyer. His house has been repossessed, his car is gone too, he's
been eating Mac and cheese for the last month.. and he's down to his last
dollar. As he walks along, he takes the bill out of his pocket and is
looking at it... realizing that this is his *last* dollar. As he's
walking, he goes by a convenience store and figures, ah, what the hell. He
takes his last dollar and buys a Megabucks ticket. And wouldn't you know,
he wins! It's a 20 million dollar jackpot, and his wife can't touch a
cent! So he thinks about what he really wants to do with his life (he lost
his job a few lines back, btw)....
So this guy thinks about what he really wants to do, and he realizes that
he's always wanted to buy a boat, go to the Caribbean, and just sail
around. He takes his money and buys the boat he's always wanted, and rents
some dock space down in Florida, but he doesn't know how to sail. He
realizes, what the hell, I'm rich now, so he pays for private sailing
lessons and he even takes a few classes at a local college so he can learn
how to navigate by the stars and the sun and all that. After a few years,
he feels like he's ready to go sailing through the Caribbean. So he buys
enough supplies to last 4 months and just takes off in his boat.
Everything goes great for the first few weeks... glorious sailing, he gets
a great tan, he's having the time of his life... then this storm blows up.
He's a good enough sailor that his boat stays afloat, but he's blown miles
and miles off course. The storm finally quiets down in the daytime, so he
can get his general bearings but he has no idea where he is until the stars
come out. He decides that probably sailing west is his best bet, though, so
he sets out in that direction. After about an hour of sailing, he sees
what looks like a tiny island on the horizon. Half an hour later, he sails
the boat into this beautiful natural harbor on what looks like a deserted
island. White sand, blue water, green trees, the works...Now, during the
storm, most of his canisters of fresh water were washed overboard, so he
realizes that he needs to look for a source of fresh water on this island.
As luck would have it, there's a stream that runs down through the beach
not half a mile from where he's tied up the boat. He does a quick taste
test, the water is not only fresh but it's nice and cold.. he realizes that
there has to be a spring somewhere on the island, and he wants to go
looking for it. So he walks up the streambed a ways until he
sees this old, old wooden sign.. it says "This way to the Fountain of
Immortality" in Spanish. The guy can't believe this. He kind of scoffs at
the idea of a fountain of immortality, but he sees that there's a brick
path that runs along the bank, and figures it's easier than walking in the
stream itself, so he gets out and starts following it. It pretty much
stays parallel to the stream, and he just walks along until he rounds this
corner and he sees these two lions. He freaks out and jumps back around
the corner, but he doesn't hear any noise, so he peeks around again. The
lions are just sitting there, flanking the path, not moving. So he takes a
few cautious steps, still nothing from the lions. He's not convinced he's
safe yet, though, so he inches a few steps closer. Still no reaction. He
keeps going this way, inching and watching, until he's right up between the
lions. Still nothing. He decides to chance it and bolts around the next
corner of the path... the lions still don't move, so he walks along looking
over his shoulder every few seconds until he rounds another corner in the
path. There, in the middle of the clearing, is this beautiful fountain...
It's all silver and gold with this beautifully clear water splashing in
it.. it says in Spanish around the edge, "This is the fountain of
Immortality. Drink of it and live forever." He's still understandably
skeptical, but he decides to try the water anyway. He notices these two
animals that he figures are dolphins splashing in the pool when he bends to
fill his drinking gourd... when his hand hits the water, he hears these
voices.... "We are the guardians of the fountain.. you must grant us a
favor before you may drink." He looks all around, confused. "It's us,in
the pool." Now the guy is totally flipping out now.. talking dolphins? I
mean really. Swimming in a fountain of immortality, talking to him. He
figures if it's a dream he might as well play along, so he asks what sort
of favor they want. "Actually, it's pretty basic. See, we were blown here
in a hurricane about 300 years ago. We're immortal, and we aren't hungry
or thirsty or anything any more, but I really miss eating little birds.
They're just tasty, darn it! And I haven't had any since I got stuck
here." "Neither have I, and I second it," chimes in the second dolphin,
"Bring us some birds, and we'll trade you for the water." The guy is like,
ok, whatever, this is getting too strange for me.. but he remembers that he
saw some birds down on the beach
and figures he could catch a couple. So he tells the dolphins that he'll
grant them their request. He goes tearing off down the path towards the
beach when all of a sudden he rounds the curve and there are the lions.
He's still not convinced that they're harmless, so he does the inching and
looking routine all the way across the clearing. Still no response from
the lions...he goes tearing off to the beach and in a few minutes has a few
baby birds in hand. He takes off at a run back towards the fountain.. he
can practically taste the water at this point.... He rounds the curve
where the lions are (he almost forgot about them) and he screeches to a
halt. He does the inching and looking some more... it's kind of hard to
forget now that he sees them that he'd make a pretty good lion lunch. He
inches closer to the lions... closer.. closer... he's up to them now...he's
standing between them.. he takes another step.. AND...
He gets arrested for transporting young gulls across staid lions for
immortal porpoises. |
