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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: nihil who wrote (41113)	6/20/1999 10:58:00 AM
From: E	Respond to of 108807

I apologize to Christopher for being insensitive to the degree to which the way this discussion as it was developing was causing him personal pain. I personally said, earlier, something I knew was said in an insulting way when I wrote it, and he took it more generously than it deserved at the time; so I know he wouldn't have reacted as he did last night unless he was very upset, and hurt personally, by what was happening. We all bring our past experiences, and the emotion they elicited, into new exchanges in which they don't belong, and that makes us say mean things. This happens in 3D friendship, and in marriages, too. The issues get left in the dust and the argument becomes distorted by escalating anger and pain. A thing I am guilty of sometimes is continuing an argument when my opponent has been wounded in a place that has nothing to do with the issue under discussion. Christopher was almost alone here last night. That is a bad place to be; especially when one has felt one was surrounded by friends.