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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gauguin who wrote (29697)	6/22/1999 10:53:00 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

Agh-typos--wars have probably started over less, marriages ended, friendships destroyed. Dan just informed me I misspelled margarita, and I noticed some grammar booboos. I don't write here for publication, and I don't proof. I type and submit. I don't even always type the exact truth. SOmetimes it just goes on without my participation. Dan doesn't eat his friends, although he would if it would guarantee him a faster time and the respect of his son. He just got home from work--- he left the house at 6 this morning and it's now 9 here. CW meets him at the door and says- "Dad!!! THere's another 5K Saturday! Wanna do it?" Pause. "Sure." That is SOME DAD. 193 is skinny for 6'2". well, maybe not skinny, but skinnier than over 200. You're promoting your body all wrong- it's all about marketing; you HAVE to change your attitude! For instance- the scars. Haven't you seen Jaws? Scars are sexy, they/re macho! You just need a story to go with them. This should be no problem for you with your imagination- sharks in Lake Michigan. Snake attacks on Main Street, knife fights, shootouts, alien invasions. Hair. Admit your baldness. Relish it. Glory in it. Shave your head. Bald men are very very sexy. Let's see---doughy white, spam skin. Did you see the movie - huh- I forgot the name of it. The one about that Electric Boy. Not SHine. That real pale bald teenager. HE got a girlfriend. Of course I can do nothing about the little wienie. You'll have to work on diversionary tactics or something.

To: Gauguin who wrote (29697)	6/22/1999 11:16:00 PM
From: Ilaine	Respond to of 71178

You can tell you're getting old when geezers start hitting on you. We made an offer on the house I showed you, but before I did I had to check the two downstairs bedrooms. The owner is turning the old carport into a two-car garage, and the two downstairs bedrooms will now have windows into the garage, and I wanted to make sure they also had windows to the outside. They do. On the way back from the place, I was hungry and stopped at one of those all-you-can-eat buffet places. I hate to eat at places like that because everyone else in there is either a geezer or a loser, and that always makes me feel bad. But it's fast, and they do have salads and vegetables and so I do it anyway. So I was sitting at a table next to a table with a loser-type guy about my age, and I think it must have been his father, maybe 70. And the father started hitting on me. I mean, I was the youngest woman in the place, so I didn't really feel flattered, you know? Reminds me of the time that this 70-something lawyer I was having lunch with grabbed me by the arm and told me he thought I was very attractive, and it had been a long time since he had feelings like this and would I like to sleep with him? And I was looking at his frothy lips and his stained clothes (his wife was at the time bed-ridden with cancer) and thought to myself, this may be the last time in this guy's life he gets a hard-on, but I just couldn't do it. I mean, yuck. So then his wife died, and I hope he found himself a nice young widow or something.