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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Gauguin who wrote (29888)	6/25/1999 12:05:00 AM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

I'm sorry. Really. I didn't mean to call you a deep thinker Well, I'm not sure you did. Or maybe if you did it was too deep for me to understand. But in case you did, don't do it again. You and I have often talked about the unreliability of perception being affected by our chemical soup. I was trying to think of absolutes in my emotional life- and the only one I can come up with is the way I feel about my children. I don't think that can be affected, not really. Not that there aren't days I think they terrible, but down deep nothing ever shakes that total love and commitment. When my mother died, there was a sudden feeling of being cast adrift with no anchor. There was no place that was home anymore, in the sense of being there always with no strings attached. EVerything else in life is so damn conditional. Depression is thinking nothing matters. Neurotic anxieties- everything matters? Mental health is knowing what really does? I'm not sure we CAN change our wiring by will. I think that was X's point. Unless it's a chemical thing...but there you go again. What isn't. You realize you and I are the only ones who understand what we're talking about. ANd you're right about X--- she is the same by PM as she is in her posts. And it's very consistent. Very reassuring. I count on her. She doesn't clean her house much either. We tell each other it's because we have such important inner lives to take care of. Virginia Woolf said a curious thing describing someone in - I think--Moments of Being "Like most passive people, she is very careful and elaborate in her surroundings." I know some people like that. And I do wonder if that's how they define themselves. By the settings they construct. I just got a jury summons- and it's to downtown Fort Worth for 8 in the morning on July 12. It will take me 45 min. to get there. ANd I don't know where "there" is. That just RUINS the next two weeks.