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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: greenspirit who wrote (42661)	6/29/1999 1:21:00 AM
From: Neocon	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

It is certainly a step in the right direction. I myself have had friends who have gone overseas to adopt, or have been denied the opportunity to make an inter- racial adoption...

To: greenspirit who wrote (42661)	6/29/1999 2:53:00 AM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

Troubled women, by definition, do not always make the best choices, Michael. I have been told that it is wrenchingly difficult to carry a baby and then give it up for adoption. For me, that would be preferable to killing it, but for many women in crisis pregnancies, like teenaged girls and women who need for one reason or another to hide the fact that they even got pregnant, it is not always the answer.

To: greenspirit who wrote (42661)	6/29/1999 1:35:00 PM
From: Rambi	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

I won't get involved with the abortion debate, but thought this was something to throw out as a somewhat related aside to your post. There was a story on the radio about a couple who had adopted a child from China or Russia and after they had gotten her, they realized that she was pretty troubled having been in an orphanage too long and being now unable to bond normally. So they returned her to the agency. Too often adoptive couples seem to think they should have more of a choice about the "quality" of a child than natural parents do- they specify sex, they want no handicaps. ANd they don't feel the same commitment to an unexpectedly damaged child that I believe most natural parents do. (Not ALL, please, I know!) So I always am a little leery when the incredible "need" for babies is mentioned. The need is for perfect, newborn, preferably white infants from nice, smart bio parents. When I worked in Social Services, people would come in and ask us if we had any babies- and this is what they asked for-like a mail order.(Color, size, shipping costs?) Not that I think adoption shouldn't be a choice preferable to abortion, just that we need to be careful not to glamorize or romanticize it; it too, has its drawbacks and problems.