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To: Alan Smithee who wrote (7003)	6/30/1999 12:36:00 AM
From: Mr.Manners	Respond to of 12754

Robbers Pitch Stolen Tent Next To Owner REYKJAVIK, Iceland (Rooters) - Two men who stole a trailer-tent from a car park in a Reykjavik suburb were arrested after trying to pitch it next to its owner in a remote beauty spot 75 miles away, police said Monday. When the two robbers arrived at the Thorsmork campsite, farting and belching and smelling of Mad Dog, they found the trailer was broken, and made so much noise trying to set it up that they attracted the attention of a man in the next tent, who offered to help. He was surprised to find that it was his trailer, and immediately called the police. Officials once again nabbed the Delusional Duo, Nasty Nathanc and DSGumbiness.

To: Alan Smithee who wrote (7003)	6/30/1999 12:51:00 AM
From: Mr.Manners	Respond to of 12754

A Gumby, A Sheep and 9 Dead Chickens In the Gulf Arab Emirate State of SharjahMustard a moslem man, Hussein DS al-Gumbyno bin Salad, has been suffering a severe religious dilema over a sheep he has been raising for a special 'feast'. The sheep in question had left its vegetarian diet and instead feasted on 9 of al-Gumbyo bin Salad's chickens. Animals which scavenge food are banned for consumption under Islam. al-Gumbyno bin Salad believes the sheep was driven to this crime because of loneliness after he gave away its companion sheep, Nasty Nathanc, to a friend. He also claims his children are now afraid to go near the sheep for "fear it will gobble them up too.. or that Nasty Nathanc will once again reappear."

To: Alan Smithee who wrote (7003)	6/30/1999 9:03:00 AM
From: Mr.Manners	Respond to of 12754

DSGumby and Friends Disguise Themselves As Crows TOKYO (Rooters) - In Tokyo, the early bird does not get the worm, it gets the garbage, and this is contributing to a troublesome boom in the crow population. In fact, the birds estimated to number from 20,000 to 30,000 have become such a concern to the residents of Japan's largest city that a recent ''Crow: Is It DSGumby? Forum'' drew nearly 300 people. Hours of debate by experts led to the conclusion that the pesky birds appear to be thriving on garbage set out on the roadside for pickup early in the morning, said Hi Kawa of the Tokyo chapter of the Japan Wild Bird Society. ''Recently they've also begun to be less and less afraid of humans, raising the fear that in the future they could actually start attacking babies or small children,'' he added. A May survey of crow population distribution cited at the forum showed that crows are twice as prevalent in downtown Tokyo, especially in districts where the garbage includes food scraps, than in rural areas. Speculation has it that the 'Gumbies' are repeating their living pattern as experienced near the infamous Kasha's TBird hovel. Crows, ordinarily very curious birds, also pose other worries, Kawa said, noting that a forest fire was set last year by a crow that picked up a smoldering stick of incense offered at a grave and flew off with it to a nearby mountain. It is not known whether the Gumbies intended to use it for medical purposes. In 1996, railway officials videotaped crows on three separate occasions in the act of taking rocks from the railbed and placing them on top of the tracks for no known reason. Officials said the rocks would be unlikely to cause any derailments. They fear that the Gumbies will next be attacking patrons leaving liquor stores. To help solve the latest problem, the group next plans to submit a report to authorities and groups connected with garbage collection. To that point the king of scraps and garbage, Nasty Nathanc was transported from his jail cell, minus strait jacket, to aid in the project. As for taxpayers, they can rest easy. Volunteers conducted the survey and helped with the forum, meaning costs were kept to chicken feed. Something that the taxpayers fear will encite the wrath of the sick bird known as Tastes Like Chicken.