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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Zbyte who wrote (1107)	7/3/1999 4:42:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

Subject: Blonde Once upon a time there was a blonde who was fed up with the preconceived notion that all blondes were stupid. So she went to the drug store and bought a bottle of brunette hair coloring. She then proceeded to color her hair. Afterwards, she decided to take a drive into the country. Coming around a bend, she noticed a herdsman and his flock of sheep. Curious about the effects of her new hair color, she decided to stop and ask the herdsman a proposition. As she approached him, she asked, "Hey herdsman! I have a proposition for you. If I can guess the correct number of sheep in your flock, can I take one for my own?" Bewildered at the request, the herdsman replied, "Certainly!" So after a few minutes of deep concentration, the Blonde (brunette) responded..."243!" "Amazing!" replied the herdsman; " . . .you are correct. Take any one you want." So the blonde made her choice and proceeded to walk to her car. Half way the herdsman stopped her and asked, "I too have a proposition for you. Do you accept?" "Certainly, but what is it?"replied the courageous blonde. The herdsman then said, "If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?"

To: Zbyte who wrote (1107)	7/3/1999 4:43:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Redneck were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said; "Corned beef and cabbage. If I get Corned beef and cabbage for lunch one more time I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed; "Burritos again. If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The Redneck opened his lunch and said; "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." -Next Day- The Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Mexican opens his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too. The Redneck opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also. -- At The Funeral- The Irishman's wife is weeping. She says; "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again." The Mexican's wife also weeps and says; "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas, I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the Redneck's wife.... "Hey, don't look at me," she said, "that dumb-ass makes his OWN lunch!"

To: Zbyte who wrote (1107)	7/3/1999 4:44:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

A man was setting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly towards him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint my house."