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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: jbe who wrote (43145)	7/2/1999 8:28:00 PM
From: E	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

But if you're the mother of a son, you live in dread fear that your son will make someone pregnant, and have his life changed, changed utterly; and he will have nothing to say about it.

To: jbe who wrote (43145)	7/2/1999 10:30:00 PM
From: nihil	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

"Sex can become no more important than blowing your nose -- which is all right, I guess, but not very exciting." I agree that the values associated with sex are very different for boys and girls. With many boys, sexual activity is not only the greatest fun, but is symbolic of human achievement. Few men believe that anyone is admired as much (or has more fun) than the successful lovers of women. Few women, I suspect, are jealous of the sexual overwork of prostitutes -- which is one reason that female prostitutes are far more common in most societies than male (for female) prostitutes. I believe that you are certainly correct in the pressure to which many girls are subjected by boys and even by brothers and fathers. This pressure, however light, is nearly always injurious, and contributes to fear and active hatred of sex (frigidity) rather than to indifference or insensitivity. Because most boys are so badly educated and misled by their own sensations, they are often (usually?) insensitive and impatient with the girl's needs and wishes. Boys often believe that they must push and initiate things. Girls often believe if they don't give in the boy will go away or even hurt them. And, in truth, there are many girls who can't signal or invite or initiate, and an overly sensitive boy can fail to recognize that an advance would be welcome. I've loved three women in my life enough to choose to spend my life with them. One told me that the "great secret" was the man must take charge of the sexual relationship. Another beloved woman I told me I must never initiate but let her take the lead in everything. The third told me my ardent appraoches were embarrassing and forbidden, and then fell deeply in love with me. I am thoroughly confused. I have no advice for anyone. I think a little open speech between man and woman, boy and girl, is in order.