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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Rambi who wrote (43212)	7/2/1999 10:37:00 PM
From: E	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

No, it's not all or nothing, of course not. I think it's people trying to figure out what will be best for their children, and their children's future. And everyone reacts to their own history, too. My parents were so sexually repressed and repressive and I was made to be so guilty and frightened about sexual feelings and childhood curiosity, that I was definitely not going to do that to my children. Thirteen or fourteen is very young. We felt fifteen was young for our son; but that's when it happened for him (close to sixteen) and my husband talked to him, and he stayed safe, as did his girlfriends. If I were confronted with this situation with a fifteen or sixteen year old daughter, I think my personal response would be determined by a number of things. Like: Did I think there was a snowball's chance in hell I was going to be able to keep her knees together with anything I said or anything I did that I was willing to do? (Shackles are out.) Did I think the boy was a nice person, kind, appropriate, and responsible? Was her life generally, the non-sex part of it, wholesome and happy and productive? If I were afraid for her, and couldn't control her, or her environment, and could afford it, I might send her to boarding school. But the boarding school stories I've heard.... You know, I don't know how people 'control' their children, to tell you the truth. Once our son was fifteen or so, he was uncontrollable by us. He was just awful. (Everyone else thought he was nice; but at home, to us, he was horrible.) Still, that stage passed, and he's a really wonderful person now, so we must have done something right. (And he has, incidentally, apologized most satisfyingly for his horrid adolescent behavior!)