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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: jbe who wrote (43224)7/2/1999 11:18:00 PM
From: Grainne  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 108807
 
The girls my daughter knows who are promiscuous are all labelled "sluts", just as they always have been. I am not sure much has changed, except that the percentage of girls who are like that might be a little higher because the mothers have gone back to work, they are supervised less after school, birth control is widely available, and our society is generally spinning pretty much out of control. Just imagine how many media messages they get every day that it is cool to be sexual!

I can tell you for sure that there is a ready group of girls as young as thirteen or fourteen who have sex at parties with multiple partners. I don't really think that is because these girls are MORE mature and highly sexed, and just "ready" to be sexually active. I think it is because they suffer from low self-esteem, have multiple emotional problems, come from homes where they are not loved deeply or often enough, etc.

In every community, however, you could identify some bright, happy and very much in love teenaged couples, high school sweetheart types, who have healthy and long relationships which are committed and exclusive. I just think it is the exception rather than the rule when this happens.



To: jbe who wrote (43224)7/2/1999 11:22:00 PM
From: jpmac  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 108807
 
In general, yes. It is still disconcerting to hear some I consider to be friends speak of women in the ugliest of terms for sexual behavior that they congratulate themselves on. An oaf is one thing, someone who trashes someone after a seemingly consensual and pleasant evening is another. No, I don't think we ever "ask" for someone to be a jerk. And it happens about as often after you know someone awhile. You get surprised.

Dangerous? To some extent. But there are many older singles out there now and sexual desires are one thing and dating another. Dating when what one is thinking about is the fact it has "been a long time" is another. There's an element of honesty there, to me.



To: jbe who wrote (43224)7/3/1999 8:01:00 AM
From: Ilaine  Respond to of 108807
 
My husband and I "had" to get married, because I got pregnant. It wasn't a "shotgun" wedding, because before I got pregnant, he wanted to get married and I didn't. So much for diaphragms.

My sister's father-in-law and mother-in-law told me they "had" to get married, too. And that a good percentage of their peers did. My sister's father-in-law opined that as far as he could tell, at least 25% of his parent's generation did, and that the proportion of people getting married because the woman was pregnant had always been pretty high. I remember seeing statistics, but I don't remember what they were. Just check two dates, marriage date, and date of birth of first child.

If the girl gets pregnant, but gets married, she suffers no stigma, as far as I can tell. People laugh about it, but that seems to be it.