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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Rambi who wrote (43297)	7/3/1999 1:48:00 PM
From: nihil	Respond to of 108807

"---more painful" He may be right for him, perhaps, about the regrets of breaking up, but there are many kinds of sexual relationships and many forms of regret. To me there is something imperfect about ending a relationship with a woman that never reached the intensity of sex. I always wondered if we might have been the perfect, eternal lovers if only we could have made love to each other. Once I "knew" that a relationship that would have been perfect was ended without our ever even kissing or touching one another in any way. Every human relationship that does not reach the level of sharing of complete openness (which is much easier for me to attain in a sexual relationship) is dissatvantaged. People IMO do not have to have sex to be lifelong friends, and with some people, sexual activity interferes and terminates friendship. I don't know how many people one can really bond with for good. Most friendships end prematurely. With heterosexual men and woman, I think sex should be given a chance, at least as an experiment to test the potential strength of the bond.

To: Rambi who wrote (43297)	7/3/1999 4:54:00 PM
From: Bob Lao-Tse	Respond to of 108807

My only point about the "emotional maturity for sex" is that we cannot continue to simply say "adolescents are not emotionally mature enough to engage in sex, therefore they shouldn't," because while we're saying that, they are engaging in sex. Except that they're doing so generally without the benefit of the insight and guidance (steps on the road to maturity) that they would have if we would simply accept the fact that they will have sex regardless of what we think and treat them accordingly. I just think that we approach this problem from the wrong direction. We simply cannot force nature to follow our timetable, so we should be adjusting our timetable to fit nature's. If they are physically mature before they are emotionally mature, then that means that we have to do whatever we can to move up that age of emotional maturity, because there's nothing that we can do slow down their physical maturity.