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To: Blue On Black who wrote (7180)7/14/1999 1:27:00 PM
From: Druss  Respond to of 12754
 
Mr. Rogers teaches the stock market.
Good morning children. First Mr. Rogers wants to thank all of you boys and girls who worked so hard to make Mr. Rogers short of Tel-Ren such a good play in the market. Mr. Rogers made 15 points. Then Mr. Rogers would like to thank his lawyers. They had Mr. Rogers contract set up this year so Tel-Ren can't cancel Mr. Rogers show unless they pay him some really big bucks. Mr. Rogers has Tel-Ren by the shorts.
Tel-Ren is even paying Mr. Rogers extra to not ream their stock price anymore. Since Mr. Rogers has already covered his short this is pure gravy to Mr. Rogers, yes it is.
So today Mr. Rogers wants to talk about Barney. You see, Mr. Rogers got started doing his own show after he saw Capt. Kangaroo and Mr. Greenjeans. Mr. Rogers thought they were the stupidest thing he had ever seen. Mr. Greenjeans disguised himself on every show and the dumbest 2 year olds Mr. Rogers had ever seen said "That's Mr. Greenjeans!" when they saw him. But they were watching it. And Mr. Rogers thought he could do something a little smarter and make some big bucks and stick the big one to Capt. Kangaroo. It worked too, it was a wonderful day in the neighborhood. Mr. Rogers wanted to do something smarter than Capt. Kangaroo because he thought no one would watch anything dumber. Then Ver-Car Productions brought out Barney.
And you watched it. Yes you did.
So now Barney has a movie out. Well, Mr. Rogers is not bitter. Mr. Rogers did just start a short on Ver-Car but that is just in case Barneys movie doesn't do well. Well, Mr. Rogers wants to be a good sport and help Barney out. Barney is number one with you and number one with Mr. Rogers. And we should let him know he is. Do you know how to make the number one sign children? Mr. Rogers is going to teach you. Take your hand and pull down all of the fingers but the middle one. Hold the middle one straight up. This means number one. So when your mommy or daddy takes you to the Barney movie you don't have to say Barney is number one, you just hold up your hand or even both hands and say "Barney!" just as soon as you see a picture of Barney outside the movie. Make sure Mommy and Daddy see this so they know how you feel.
If you ever get to meet Barney make sure you give him the number one sign. Teach all of the other kids around you to hold up their hands too with the Barney number one sign. Mr. Rogers can't wait for a picture of nine or ten little Barney fans all saluting Barney to hit UPI.



To: Blue On Black who wrote (7180)7/14/1999 7:42:00 PM
From: Druss  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 12754
 
Mr. Rogers chats about Barney.
Good morning children. How are all my friends today? Today Mr. Rogers wants to talk about Barney. Barney said some things about Mr. Rogers that weren't very nice. He said them because of a little trick Mr. Rogers played. Because of this trick Barney got on the cover of 'Time' magazine with a cute little blond girl giving him the 'you are number one' sign to his face. Then Barney said those bad things. I don't think Barney really does love Mr. Rogers.
So Mr. Rogers thought Barney might be lying about loving him and might not be a good dinosaur. Mr. Rogers decided he would check it out. You know children, all of the dinosaurs that walk on two feet like Barney eat meat. And Barney eats meat and he has big teeth? Yes he does. He has teeth that pop right out when he is going to eat. He has teeth as big as Mr. Rogers fingers. See Mr. Rogers fingers. And he chews the meat he eats for a long time. Then Mr. Rogers found out what kind of meat Barney eats. Barney eats little kids and dogs. Now you know why Barney loves you.
Barney sneaks into little kids homes at night when they are asleep to eat them. You have to be very, very careful because Barney might want to eat you. So tonight when you go to bed and it is dark, stay awake and listen very carefully. Barney is really sneaky and very quiet so listen close for him. If you hear anything, scream really, really loud so your Mommy and Daddy can come and save you from Barney. Other wise Barney will eat you up and chew you for a long, long time.



To: Blue On Black who wrote (7180)7/25/1999 7:24:00 PM
From: Rainy_Day_Woman  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 12754
 
here it is Lee, at last

i typed up part one of your list just as you asked me to

not a problem

i know you have been busy

i'm working on the other subjects on your 'Notes To Myself List"

i got the dating one done first, as i know how important it is to you

no thanks needing

foxy

DATING (Outside the Family)

--Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.

--No matter how broke you are, never take your date flowers that were
stolen from a cemetery.

--Be aggressive. Let her know you are interested: "I've been wanting
to go out with you since I read that stuff on the men's bathroom wall
two years ago."

--Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some
will say 10:00. Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the
answer, it's the boy's responsibility to get her to school on time.

--If a girl's name does not appear regularly on a bathroom wall,
water tower, or an overpass, odds are good that the date will end in
frustration.

--Even if you can't get a date, avoid kidnapping. It's bad for your
reputation.

--Always allow your date first pick of any roadkill you run across.