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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (1153)	7/8/1999 2:29:00 PM
From: Bald Eagle	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

<<7. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.>> True story: I was in Alabama last week and overheard two locals talking to each other. They couldn't even understand each other!

To: Susie924 who wrote (1153)	7/9/1999 11:22:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

Subject: "Got Milk???" A husband suspects his wife is having an affair. He needs to go on a business trip for several days, so he decides to set a trap for her. He puts a bowl of milk under the bed. From the bed springs, he suspends a spoon. He has it calibrated so that her weight on the bed will not drop the spoon into the milk. But, if there is any more weight than that, the spoon will drop into the milk and he will detect it upon his return home. He comes home several days later. The first thing he does is reach under the bed and retrieve the bowl. The bowl is full of butter.

To: Susie924 who wrote (1153)	7/9/1999 11:23:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

A lady is giving a party for her granddaughter and has gone all out caterer, band and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. Guests arrive, and all is going well, with the children having a wonderful time. But, the clown has not shown up and finally, the clown calls to report that he is stuck in traffic and will probably not make the party at all. The woman is very disappointed and unsuccessfully tries to entertain the children herself. She happens to look out the window and sees one of the bums doing cart wheels across the lawn. She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips and leaps high in the air. She speaks to the other bum and says: "What your friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing. Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!" The other bum says: "Well, I don't know. Let me ask him." He then turned to Willie and shouted: "Hey Willie! For $50, would you chop off another toe?"