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Pastimes : FLAME THREAD - Post all obnoxious/derogatory comments here -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Alan Smithee who wrote (7189)7/8/1999 8:03:00 PM
From: Mr.Manners  Respond to of 12754
 
Me and my best bud.

you resemble dat... Nathanc says his favorite times are when he sings "The Lumberjack Song" and means it



To: Alan Smithee who wrote (7189)7/8/1999 10:37:00 PM
From: Mr.Manners  Respond to of 12754
 
Police Seek Iguana Spurned By Hotel Cashier

SCHWEINLONG, Deutscheland Uber Alles (Rooters) - German police said they were looking for
an escaped iguana, which a man had earlier tried to use as payment for a
hotel bill. Schweinlong police said the ''clearly disturbed'' 46-year-old man had
released the 5-foot-long lizard after a hotel in the northeastern town refused to
accept his unusual alternative to cash and called the police. The man's description was 'all green, with a nine-iron haircut, and wearing a pink tutu.'

At another hotel, police located two more young iguanas belonging to the
man, who is now receiving medical attention at one of Germany's most prestigious asylums, Der Fuhrerfarter. The treatment is only to be imagined.....

The police said Monday there was no need for panic. Iguanas pose no danger
to humans except through a hefty swish of their tails when they feel threatened.


They did add, however, that the same might be said of the man, notorious DSGumby, who had once more escaped a long deserved incarceration, and was entirely at large.
Citizens were warned to be on the lookout for the above described lunatic, last seen running away at top speed, shovelling Oreos into his mouth, and screaming, "I'm GUMBY, damnit!!"



To: Alan Smithee who wrote (7189)7/8/1999 11:28:00 PM
From: Mr.Manners  Respond to of 12754
 
The Great Nemesis of DSGumby Returns:

eonline.com

Mr Bill
vs.

Gumby


Darkness has fallen over Clay Land. Not since Santa backed over Rudolph has there been such great misery in this
normally overly-happy place. For the horrible has occurred. Sluggo and the Blockheads have joined forces.

Sinister laughter can be heard from a dark house on the edges of Clay Land. Inside, a crowd is gathered in the basement.
Pokey can be seen in the corner, strapped to a chair and gagged. Sluggo is looking into a large shoebox in the center of the
room, an evil Grinch-like grin from ear-to-ear. He calls the Blockheads over and says that it's time to begin. They peer into the
box...

In the middle of the box is Gumby, one wrist lashed to the wrist of his competitor, Mr. Bill. At one end of the box, imbedded in
the cardboard, is a razorblade. At the other end, a Zippo lighter, specially designed so that either of the contestants can
use it. Sluggo gives the signal to begin. Only one clay figure may emerge from the box alive. If it is Gumby, he and Pokey may
go free; if it is Mr. Bill, Pokey is killed and Mr. Bill gets to drive off with Malibu Stacey (woob, woob).

Is Mr. Bill shredded or Gumby melted?

Stay tuned.