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Pastimes : FLAME THREAD - Post all obnoxious/derogatory comments here -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Alan Smithee who wrote (7225)	7/11/1999 12:37:00 PM
From: Mr.Manners	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 12754

DSGUMBY Reports From the Front In Baton Rouge, La., police charged DSGumby,39, with breaking into a woman's house to burglarize it and brushing her hair against her will. Police in Kewanee, Ill., charged DSGumby with drunken driving this summer after he accidentally drove a lawn mower into the path of a freight train. Gumby, who escaped injury when the train flipped the 5-horsepower mower 10 feet into the air, had used the vehicle for transportation after his license to drive a car was suspended for drunken driving five years ago.

To: Alan Smithee who wrote (7225)	7/11/1999 7:17:00 PM
From: Mr.Manners	Respond to of 12754

DSGumby Reports of Home Counsel A December Associated Press dispatch from The Clutterbuck Club For Men reports that members of DSGumbyland traditionally address each other much more aggressively than members of Congress do. Among the names recently overheard on the floor of The Clutterbuck Club: perfumed gigolos, brain-damaged, harlot, sleazebag, scumbag, mental patient and dog's vomit.

To: Alan Smithee who wrote (7225)	7/11/1999 11:07:00 PM
From: Mr.Manners	Respond to of 12754

Mr.Manners Visits His Brother's Store Look. There's the female employee. Oh it's natural she should satisfy her craving for chocolate and ice cream since they are in such easy reach. And with such a sugar high it's completely understandable that she should forget to pay for them. Ah, she is tired. That's because her Helen Keller ass is dragging her down. It has grown fat and voluminous from all the chocolate and candies. Of course she must sit. And being alone is hardly worth the trouble. So she invites a friend in to sit with her. Both sit. Meanwhile work piles up. They sit. And look again. The male employee on the next shift. He used to work at a shoe store, and "he loved it." Mr.Manners thinks that's really special. He asks the male employee if he ever watched 'Married With Children.' He says no, but promises to catch it. Both chuckle. Mr.Manners chuckles more at the thought of the male employee discovering his nickname is Al Bundy. Next, a sampling of customers. There's the mashed potato mom with her 'special' child - the red-haired pterodactyl who swoops around the store, squawking 'awwkMom, awwkMom.' How pleasant. Or the white-trash neighbourhood that brings with them everything but the dirty dishes in the kitchen sink, the welfare stub, and Ellie May. They like to ask about 'contemporary movies.' Without the societal benefits spread over a large grouping of civilisation for them that would be hand-puppets and the next-in-line to git beat by Daddy's widestrap. One more petri dish of a sample says Mr.Manners. The chatters. On the phone. In the store. Blah blah blah, yak yak yak. The movies were late? I'll be in tomorrow to pay for them if I first don't leave for foreign countries after coming in and renting several video games as well, or whining about how my credit rating would be affected if I were forced to pay a late charge of say more than 0.12. But hey, I won't do it again so what's new...... Mr.Manners presses the trapdoor button.