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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Edwarda who wrote (45988)	7/18/1999 8:01:00 PM
From: Sidney Reilly	Respond to of 108807

Hi Edwarda, You raise a lot of issues surrounding my questions. They are all valid too. It's not black and white by any means. A spouse trying to justify or discredit their feelings of insecurity may feel they have every right to snoop. But they might also over react and take it too seriously, or read more into it than there is. The spouse that has something to hide, say very serious flirtations in cyberspace, may be angry when exposed but not able to take the moral high ground either at the invasion of privacy. After reading your post and the others I really see there can be no solid ruling, both sides have a point, but neither has the moral high ground. Maybe the injured spouse has a little more right to snoop really. And you're right that it is so much easier to share and get very personal in cyberspace, in ways not even possible on the phone. A few phone calls and that could be it for "old friends". For one, cost is a factor. And voice is more inhibiting than cyber communications, at least at first. In cyberspace every thing can be aired and examined completely. And practically for free. Now there are programs that allow voice and video communications that completely bypass the phone companies long distance billing. There are less inhibitions in cyber communications IMO. We can reveal things in posts or chat that we would NEVER risk face to face or even by phone. A friend of mine met someone by putting himself on the internet in a christian dating web site. He contacted someone who he thought sounded good from their profile. They e-mailed and chatted for a little while. It was a local operation and they were able to meet. In two months they were married. I think it was a huge mistake, but who am I. These two would never have met in their lives otherwise. Is that good? Or too bad. My friend was not a happy camper before but now he is in a deep depression. I tried to warn him. But the topic was privacy from a spouse. There should be some privacy, I don't tell everything and the longer I've been married I've told less and less. LOL. It's really just common sense. A computer will keep track of everything you do and you don't even know it if you're an average user. Some e-mail programs keep 2 separate e-mail files for in and out for some reason. And also when you trash an e-mail the in.mbx still has that e-mail that can be read if you open the in.mbx file. The trash sometimes only removes the header from view. And the browser keeps a history and if you don't turn it off someone can see that you were checking the hotmail account (what's that for she says!). Were you visiting her/his personal web site? There it is in the history. Lot's of tracks. Well, lots to think about. Anyone want to add their 2 cents? SR