Silicon Investor (SI) -- The First Internet Community

STOCKTALK

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor. We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community. If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.

Pastimes : FLAME THREAD - Post all obnoxious/derogatory comments here -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Rainy_Day_Woman who wrote (7329)	7/19/1999 12:42:00 AM
From: Mr.Manners	Respond to of 12754

Foxxxhoney, it's not my mind I want to be loved for it's for what I don't mind (c)djb I belieb I has heard you whisper dat

To: Rainy_Day_Woman who wrote (7329)	7/20/1999 12:23:00 AM
From: Mr.Manners	Respond to of 12754

DSGumby Transportation Almost Escapes Police Shoot Monster Rat FRANKFART (Rooters) - German police killed a dog-sized rat which attacked a 59-year-old man outside his home near Frankfart, Bild newspaper reported Monday. The mass-selling tabloid quoted police as saying the half meter (20 inch)-long rat was as vicious as a fighting dog and as big as a dachshund. It also wore a small riding saddle with pieces of a pink tutu still visible in the traces. It said the rodent's intended victim, identified only as Nasty N., heard something rustling in a bush and then a sharp hissing. He turned around and saw the rat, ready to pounce at him. ''I was rigid with fear,'' said Nasty, aka Horst Wessel. ''I just had time to grab a wooden plank to fend it off.'' The rat sank its teeth into the plank and Nasty/Horst ran inside his cardboard hovel to call the police. Officers tried to grab the animal with thick gloves but it attacked them so they shot it, carved it up and decided to hold a banquet in honor of all informants.

To: Rainy_Day_Woman who wrote (7329)	7/20/1999 12:35:00 AM
From: Mr.Manners	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 12754

Nasty Nathanc Escapes The Travail of Caring For Animals A Vermont native, Nasty Nathanc, found himself in a difficult position yesterday. While touring the Eagle's Rock African Safari (Zoo) with a group of thespians from St. Petersburg, Russia, Mr.Nasty went overboard to show them one of America's many marvels. He demonstrated the effectiveness of "Crazy Glue"... the hard way. Apparently, Mr. Nasty wanted to demonstrate just how good the adhesive was, so he put about 3 ounces of the adhesive in the palms of his hands, and jokingly placed them on the buttocks of a passing rhino. The rhino, a resident of the zoo for the past thirteen years, was not initially startled as it has been part of the petting exhibit since its arrival as a baby. However, once it became aware of its being involuntarily stuck to Mr. Nasty, it began to panic and ran around the petting area wildly making Mr. Nasty an unintended passenger. "Sally [the rhino] hasn't been feeling well lately. She had been very constipated. We had just given her a laxative and some depressants to relax her bowels, when Mr.Nasty played his juvenile prank," said Jam Dougass, local derelict. During Sally's tirade two fences were destroyed, a shed wall was gored, and a number of small animals escaped. Also, during the stampede, three pygmy goats and one duck were stomped to death. As for Nasty, it took a team of medics and zoo caretakers' to remove his hands from her buttocks. First, the animal had to be captured and calmed down. However, during this process the laxatives began to take hold and Mr. Nasty was repeatedly showered with over 30 gallons of rhino diarrhea. "It was tricky. We had to calm her down, while at the same time shield our faces from being pelted with rhino dung. I guess you could say that Mr. Nasty was into it up to his neck. Once she was under control, we had three people with shovels working to keep an air passage open for Mr. Nasty. We were able to tranquilize her and apply a solvent to remove his hands from her rear," said Dougass. "I don't think he'll be playing with Crazy Glue for a while." Meanwhile, the Russians, while obviously amused, also were impressed with the power of the adhesive. "I'm going to buy some for my children, but of course they can't take it to the zoo," commented Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, leader of the troupe of very red clowns.

To: Rainy_Day_Woman who wrote (7329)	7/20/1999 12:44:00 AM
From: Mr.Manners	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 12754

Nursey Foxxx's True Origins CLEANER POLISHES OFF PATIENTS "For several months, our nurses have been baffled to find a patient dead in the same bed every Friday morning" a spokeswoman for the Ptomaine Hospital (Free State#1a) told reporters. "There was no apparent cause for any of the deaths, and extensive checks on the air conditioning system, and a search for possible bacterial infection, failed to reveal ny clues." "However, further inquiries have now revealed the cause of these deaths... "It seems that every Friday morning a cleaning lady would enter the ward, remove the plug that powered the patient's life support system, plug her floor polisher into the vacant socket, then go about her business. When she had finished her chores, she would plug the life support machine back in and leave, unaware that the patient was now dead. She could not, after all, hear the death rattle and eventual the solid beep over the whirring of her polisher". "We are sorry, and have sent a strong letter to the cleaner in question. Further, the Free State #1a Health and Welfare Department is arranging for an electrician to fit an extra socket, so there should be no repetition of this incident. The inquiry is now closed."