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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: FREAKAZOID who wrote (1240)	7/19/1999 10:46:00 AM
From: Barney	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

1. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't. 2. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word? 3. Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice. 4. Every morning is the dawn of a new error . . . 5. A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee. 6. For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord. 7. I can see clearly now, the brain is gone . . . 8. The beatings will continue until morale improves. 9. I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. 10. Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. 11. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. 12. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. 13. There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full. 14. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode. 15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again? 16. A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. 17. I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem. 18. Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out. 19. If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished! 20. Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'. . . till you can find a rock. 21. Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way. 22. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? 23. If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me. 24. If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms. 25. Don't look back, they might be gaining on you. 26. It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere. 27. Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply. 28. Look out for #1. Don't step in #2. 29. Budget: A method for going broke methodically. 30. Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it. 31. Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. 32. Do witches run spell checkers? 33. Demons are a Ghouls best friend. 34. Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved. 35. Dain Bramaged. 36. Department of Redundancy Department. 37. Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat. 38. What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

To: FREAKAZOID who wrote (1240)	7/20/1999 1:13:00 AM
From: Boyd Zander	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

Freak, you must have lost some of your grubbiness, Susie caught you sleeping and grabbed 1234. Doin, OK and been around, just busy and not posting much. How bout that post from Katt? Is this the male bashing thread? lol Here are some interesting quotes I found, Not directed at anyone in particular, unless of course one finds that it fits. He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. - - - Abraham Lincoln Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome. - - - Oscar Levant I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here. - - - Stephen Bishop I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. - - - Groucho Marx She's good, being gone. - - - William Shakespeare Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week. - - - William Dean Howells Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. - - - Ashleigh Brilliant The best part of you ran down your mother's legs. - - - Jackie Gleason A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice. - - - Phillip Marlowe A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often. - - - Oliver Herford Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman. - - - Maryon Pearson I have more talent in my smallest fart than you have in your entire body. - - - Walter Matthau (to Barbra Steisand) Oh my God, look at you. Anyone else hurt in the accident? - - - Don Rickles (to Ernest Borgnine) If brains was lard, Jethro couldn't grease a pan. - - - Jed Clampett (from "The Beverly Hillbillies") We's all born ignorant, you just stayed that way. - - - Boyd Zander Found on: members.aol.com Heading to Toronto for a few days, have a good week Take Care Boyd