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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: E who wrote (46491)	7/23/1999 3:01:00 AM
From: jpmac	Respond to of 108807

Picture a funeral, parents burying their child, s/he was a young, inexperienced driver who took a curve too fast, as so many do and die. What would most of us say? Too many children die on the roads before they turn twenty from inexperience and being at the wheel of a deadly weapon. And many times they take their friends with them. When I was in high school, the driver lived, but the girl who sat in the middle, between the bucket seats and her two friends, was impaled on the gear shift and died. There are few of us who have not made foolish choices and only been lucky to have not died or not to killed a friend. Come to think of it, Autumn was white-water rafting when she drowned. Maybe I should just think her foolish to have taken that risk, and not mourn her anymore. Thanks for your comments, E.

To: E who wrote (46491)	7/23/1999 3:17:00 AM
From: jpmac	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

'Nother incident... when I was twelve, a sister and I read a story about a family that had driven past a sign saying that the road was washed out, don't go any further. They all died. I said they shouldn't have done it and was quite callous. I caught heck from her. She didn't say I was wrong that they shouldn't have heeded the sign, but that people make mistakes, and these people were dead and I was being, basically, an ass about it. A few years later, I was a sophmore in high school and a classmate cut class and was riding a motorcycle without a helmet. He took a turn too wide and hit head-on with a delivery truck. He lived but was severely brain-damaged. I mourned that. She recalled the earlier thought of mine to me, and I told her that I had listened to her that day and learned something. I think it mostly shocked her to realize that I had listened to her.

To: E who wrote (46491)	7/23/1999 5:27:00 AM
From: Dayuhan	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

Have you ever read the Darwin Awards and laughed? What's the difference?

To: E who wrote (46491)	7/23/1999 5:51:00 AM
From: Neocon	Respond to of 108807

E, a very good elaboration of the problem...

To: E who wrote (46491)	7/23/1999 1:09:00 PM
From: Ilaine	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

Dear E, and by extension dear other members of the thread, just logged on and started the foreseeably lengthy task of reading through what appears to be a heated debate on whether or not one "should" make morbid, insensitive jokes about the death of JFK Jr., his wife and her sister. Out of curiousity, I ran a search, and see that no one has mentioned schadenfreude here since May, remember, taking joy in other's misfortunes. It's such an innate part of human nature that there's a word for it, albeit a German word, but one that English speakers have adopted because it serves a need. In this case, I have called it "whistling past the graveyard." It's also the "there but for the grace of God go I" phenomenon. And I wonder, dear Coug, Mel, JP, and all others offended by Steven's jokes, did you ever make fun of Ronald Reagan's forgetfulness? Ever laugh at Jerry Ford when he fell down the stairs of Air Force One? Ever laugh at George H. Bush when he vomited on the Japanese dignitary? Just curious . . . .

To: E who wrote (46491)	7/24/1999 4:02:00 AM
From: nihil	Respond to of 108807

It's quite simple to me. Pity is appropriate for one dying young, the same pity for each of the three of them. As for blame? A bad will is the only thing to be blamed. Bad judgment, bad luck should not be blamed. I've done such foolish, rash, and suicidal things that I could blame my self for almost everything that's happened to me. I remember teetering on the brink of a plunge into the Adriatic while a drunken man wavered head on into my lane. I was in an open sports car. I had had a fine Italian luncheon and more than a few glasses of wine -- I had my wife and son with me -- I knew if I glanced off his left I would plunge into the sea and kill us all, if I glanced off his right I would head on with the coming traffic. All I could do was to hit the coming car (while not locking the brakes) square on the center and have him come up over us and hope those following us would be able to stop. I didn't feel any guilt, or worry -- but concentrated on doing what I could to save us. I suspect John Kennedy was struggling to the end to save the plane. I doubt if any self-reproach clouded his mind. I think he was acting like a man. It's not a bad way to die.