To: Jim Bishop who wrote (124 ) 7/25/1999 5:17:00 PM From: 2MAR$ Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 144
For your Humorous pleasure, a reply to a GAAY basher from the GAAY Thread on Raging BULL(named BIGG_DICK!) BIG DICK, please fill this form out,,, All bashers please complete this form.. Age: ___________________________ (Note: Not your real age, just similar to your investment mentality) Shoe size (left): __________________ Shoe size (right): __________________ Occupation: ________Thread Moron ________Analyst ________Parking Lot Attendant ________Investment Advisor ________Attorney Looking for Clients ________"Ultra" specialist ________Thread Lurker ________Head of Your School's Investment Club ________Provocateur ________Submissive and Willing Partner Looking for Others ________Unemployed Spouses Name: _____________________ Relationship with spouse: ________Sister ________Brother ________Aunt ________Uncle ________Cousin ________Mother ________Father ________Son ________Daughter ________Pet Number of children living in household: ____________ Number that are yours: ____________ Mother's Name: ________________________________ Father's Name: _________________________________ (If not sure, leave blank) Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) Do you (____) own or (____) rent your mobile home? Total number of vehicles you own : __________ Total number of vehicles that still crank : __________ Number of vehicles in front yard : __________ Number of vehicles in back yard : __________ Number of vehicles on cement blocks : __________ Recent procedures by your physician: ___________ Rectal exam (enema also counts) ___________ Frontal lobotomy ___________ Prescription for viagra ___________ Removal of cerebral hairballs ___________ The Lorraine Bobbitt "short cut" ___________ Grade school physical (turn your head, now, cough…) ___________ Still waiting to have my head examined… Your personality profile: ___________ Passive-aggressive ___________ Clueless (participation on this thread just exacerbates the condition) ___________ Just angry all the time ___________ Scorched earth apostle ___________ Bitter and twice divorced ___________ Annoying ___________ Investor with learning disabilities ___________ Too stupid to know Firearms you own and where you keep them: In my truck : __________ In my bedroom : __________ In the bathroom : __________ In the kitchen : __________ In the shed : __________ Model and year of your pickup: __________________ 194___. Do you have a gun rack? ______ Yes ______ No (please explain) Preferred method of picking stocks: ___________ Hot tip from my broker ___________ Ouiji board ___________ Recommendation from Money Magazine ___________ Tea leaves ___________ Ask the 15 year old kid from New Jersey ___________ SI Café recommendations ___________ Psychics on-line Why are you on this thread? ___________ Looking for friends ___________ Freeloading and don't want to admit it ___________ Venting my hostile tendencies ___________ Handicapped and need a place to park ___________ Fantasizing about stocks is better than sex ___________ Dispensing worthless investment advice ___________ It's better than watching paint dry ___________ Engaging in self-destructive behavior ___________ Hyping my holdings in Bavarian Ovarian Meat Business (BOMB) ___________ Trolling for subscribers to my stock investment newsletter ___________ Need to add more fuel to the long list of things I've been wrong about ___________ Can't think of anything else to do ___________ Looking for plaintiffs for a class action lawsuit ___________ Need a dose of intellectual honesty ___________ Just killing time while waiting for the mother ship ___________ Don't have a woman upstairs waiting for me ___________ Bashing stocks I can't afford to buy ___________ Short of running the mafia, this thread is as good as it gets ___________ Practicing my writing skills ___________ The guards let me ___________ Trying to use up my 20 free hours a month ___________ Need a place to take my crap and then leave ___________ General sophistry purposes Who is your favorite CNBC investment commentator? ___________ Silvia "Broom Hilda" Wadhwa (Frankfurt) ___________ Ron "Brillcream" Insana ___________ Joe "Pompador" Kernan ___________ Jim "Frog Eyes" Cramer ___________ David "I'm Sooo Smart and I Know It" Faber ___________ Mark "They Don't Pay Me Enough to Do This" Haines What is your investment style? ___________ Mo-Mo ___________ Disco trading ___________ Buy high, sell low ___________ Sheep in the herd ___________ Averaging down ___________ Getting back to even ___________ Jetstreaming ___________ March to the beat of a different drummer ___________ Short and proud of it What internet developments are most exciting to you: ___________ Sears selling appliances over the net ___________ Prodigy Classic ___________ email ___________ On-line chat rooms ___________ Merrill Lynch on-line trading ___________ Yahoo personal ads When was the last time you had an original idea? ___________ What do you mean by that ___________ Never had one before ___________ It's been so long I can't remember What is the latest technology upgrade you have made? ___________ Replaced a light bulb ___________ Installed "The Club" on my steering wheel ___________ Upgraded the beads on my abacus ___________ Went shopping for work boots ___________ Bought a tape rewinder for my VCR ___________ Hooked up a window fan ___________ Recently ordered the George Foreman "Grilling Machine" What does the chair in front of your computer look like? ___________ Puffy styrofoam bean bag ___________ The white porcelain one in the bathroom ___________ Three legged stool ___________ Plastic deck lounger ___________ Judge's bench ___________ Don't have a computer ___________ Recline-O-Matic ___________ Still saving for one Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to: ________ The National Enquirer ________ The Globe ________ TV Guide ________ Soap Operage Digest ________ Guns & Ammo Electronic devices you own: ___________ Remote control ___________ Weed wacker ___________ Water heater ___________ Wrist watch with lighted dial ___________ Transistor radio ___________ Makita sawsall ___________ Dial telephone ___________ Vibrator ___________ Electronic grill ignition system ___________ Atari computer ___________ Garage door opener Modem speed: ___________ 2.4 K per second ___________ Don't have a phone ___________ Woooaahh. What's a modem? ___________ Use walkie-talkies instead What do you do for entertainment: ___________ Just hang out ___________ Fish and cut bait ___________ Look at the pictures in girlie magazines ___________ Go bowling with the team ___________ Push my walker around Evanston ___________ Polish my Weber kettle ___________ Peruse the Victoria's Secret web-site ___________ Play another round ___________ Change the oil in my driveway ___________ Aerate my compost pile Number of times you've seen a UFO : ____________ Number of times you've seen Elvis : ____________ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO : ____________ What are your previous real estate investments: ____________ Time share condo ____________ Desert with great view ____________ Remote mountain cabin (next to Ted Kaczinski's) ____________ Swamp land ____________ Condo conversion reconverted to apartments What plant does your character most closely resemble: ____________ Diffembachia ____________ Prickly pear cactus ____________ Dutch elm (diseased) ____________ Crab grass ____________ The dead ones on my kitchen counter What is the best trade you ever made: ____________ Food stamps for baseball cards ____________ Stock tips for Beanie babies ____________ Brains for scrapple ____________ Manners for attitude ____________ Bought Amazon at $400/share ____________ Shorted Ebay at $36/share ____________ Haven't started trading yet (not old enough) What is your favorite saying: ____________ This pig of a stock… ____________ I'll see you in court… ____________ Like totally, for sure…. ____________ Ho,ho,ho… ____________ If only I bought Dell in 1995… ____________ What do the "up" arrows mean… ____________ Yeah, un-huh, right, right, right… ____________ Where is that dog with fleas… ____________ Does anybody have real-time quotes… Where did you see your latest bubble: ____________ In a pot (boiling water bubble) ____________ In the bath tub (soap bubble) ____________ In the garden (the tulip thing) ____________ In the mirror (chewing gum bubble) ____________ In the steel mill where I work (industrial revolution bubble) ____________ In a tar pit (end of the dinosaur thing) How often do you bathe: _________ Weekly _________ Monthly _________ Don't Have Any Indoor Plumbing _________ Not Applicable Color of teeth: _________ Yellow _________ Brownish - Yellow _________ Brown _________ Black _________ Don't have them any more Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer: _________ Red-Man How far is your trailer from a paved road? _________ 1 mile _________ 2 miles _________ Don't know (Voluntary Disclosure: Position- Long; ST Rating- Strong Buy; LT Rating- Buy)