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Strategies & Market Trends : Piffer OT - And Other Assorted Nuts -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ms. X who wrote (2876)	7/29/1999 2:15:00 AM
From: Jorj X Mckie	Respond to of 63513

Wiley is out of the running. Gotta pick a new name.

To: Ms. X who wrote (2876)	7/30/1999 1:41:00 AM
From: mph	Respond to of 63513

> Dilbert's newest additions to add to your vocabulary in the late 90's > office environment: > > Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and > advancement by kissing up to the boss. > > Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was > missed or a project failed and who was responsible. > > Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps > over everything and then leaves. > > Salmon day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream > only to get s_ _ _ _ _ _ and die in the end. > > Chainsaw consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the > employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands. > > CLM - Career Limiting Move - Used among microserfs to describe > ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot > is a serious CLM. > > Adminisphere - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above > the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often > profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were > designed to Solve. > > Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning > to leave the company or department soon. > > 404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 > - > URL Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be > located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him...he's 404, man." > > Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same > no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, > subdivisions. > Used as in: "We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were > in." > > Ohno-second - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that > you've just made a BIG mistake. > > Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an > electronic device to get it to work again. > > Umfriend - A relationship of dubious standing or a concealed intimate > relationship, as in "This is Dylan, my ... um ... friend." > > Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down > on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively. > > Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles. > > Idea Hamsters - People who always seem to have their idea generators > running. > > Mouse Potato - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch > potato. > > Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube > farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. > > SITCOMs - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them > stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two > Children, Oppressive Mortgage. > > Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce > with no kids, no property and no regrets. > > Stress Puppy - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and > whiny. > > Swiped Out - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless > because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. > > Xerox Subsidy - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's > workplace. > > > Going Postal - Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. > Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who > have snapped and gone on shooting rampages. > > Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an > office or work group. > > G.O.O.D. Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in > order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they > are solvent again. > > Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but > you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a > prime example. > > Yuppie Food Stamps - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs > everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We > owe $8 each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps.