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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Susie924 who wrote (1341)7/30/1999 9:02:00 PM
From: Vision21  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 2380
 
CONTINUING EDUCATION CLASSES FOR WOMEN

1. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome:
You Do Not Need New Shoes Everyday.

2. Communication Skills:
Tears-The Last Resort, Not the First.

3. Silence, the Final Frontier:
Where No Woman Has Gone Before.

4. The Undiscovered Side of Banking:
Making Deposits.

5. Parties: Going Without New Outfits.

6. Bathroom Etiquette I:
Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.

7. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His.

8. Valuation: Just Because It's Not Important to You . . .

9. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up.

10. Advanced Parking: Reversing Into A Space.

11. Overcoming Anal Retentive Behavior:
Leaving the Towels on the Floor.

12. Cooking: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People.

13. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully.

14. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together.

15. "Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big?"
Learning Why Men Lie.



To: Susie924 who wrote (1341)8/1/1999 10:47:00 AM
From: Barney  Respond to of 2380
 
A guy took a blonde out on a date.

Eventually they ended up parked at a "lovers point"
where they started making out. After things started
getting pretty good, he thought he might get lucky, so
he asked her "Do you want to go in the back seat?"

"NO!" she answered.

Okay, he thought, maybe she's not ready yet. Now he has
her shirt and skirt off, the windows are steamed, and
things are getting really hot, so he asks again, "Do
you want to go in the back seat?"

"NO!" she answers again.

Now he has her bra off, they're both very sweaty, and
she even has his pants unzipped. Okay, he thinks, she
HAS to want it now. "Do you want to go in the back
seat?" he asks again.

"NO!" she answers yet again.

Frustrated, he demands "Well, why not!"

"Because I want to stay up here with you!"




To: Susie924 who wrote (1341)8/1/1999 10:55:00 AM
From: Barney  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 2380
 
I've learned...

I've learned- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned- that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned- that it takes years to build up trust and a minute of suspicion to destroy it.

I've learned - that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big dick or huge tits.

I've learned- that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think.

I've learned- that it's taken me a long time to sleep with the person I want.

I've learned- you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You may need to borrow money.

I've learned- that either you control your attitude or you will be offered medication.

I've learned- that money is a great substitute for character.

I've learned- that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do so.

I've learned- that no matter how badly your heart is broken, therapy is still expensive.

I've learned- that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.

I've learned- that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. And all the less important ones just never go away.

I've learned- To say "Fuck them if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.