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Pastimes : Scamelot, a dedicated thread to Cyto in Orlando -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Cytotekk who wrote (309)	9/1/1999 8:50:00 PM
From: CIMA	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 349

Subject: The mystery of a woman > > >>Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a >>neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved >>by >>Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he >>could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to >>figure out the answer; but, if, after a year, he still had no answer, he >> >>would be killed. >> >>The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would >>perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it >>seemed an impossible query. Since it was better than death, however, he >> >>accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. >> >>He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, >>the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, the court jester. >> >>In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory >>answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as >>only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the >>witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices >>she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no >>alternative but to talk to the witch. >> >>She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price >>first: the old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the >>Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! >> >>Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, >>had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene >>noises... He had never run across such a repugnant creature. He >>refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a >>burden. >> >>Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told >>him that nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's >>life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was >>proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question: >>What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own >>life. >> >>Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and >>that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighbouring >>monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom. >> >>What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between >>relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. >>The old witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, >> >>belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable. The wedding night >>approached: >> >>Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. >>What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay >>before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened. >> >>The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd >>been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, >>and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. >> >>Which would he want her to be during the day and which during the night? >> >>What a cruel question! Gawain began to think of his predicament: >>during the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friend, but at >>night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would >>he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful >>woman to enjoy many intimate moments? >> >>What would you do? >> >>What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your >>own choice. >>- >>- >>- >>- >>- >>- >>- >>- >>- >>- >>- >>- >>Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. >>Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the >>time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her >>own life. >> >>What is the moral of this story? >> >>The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly, >>smart or dumb. Underneath it all, she's still a witch.

To: Cytotekk who wrote (309)	2/15/2000 10:03:00 AM
From: CIMA	Respond to of 349

CYTO - We first brought you this deal to your attention on Jan 11 at $5 3/32 Current Price is $13 7/16. The company just reported its first profitable quarter biz.yahoo.com There will be a conference call restricted to analysts and brokers today at 11:00 a.m. NY time. You may access this information on the internet through a simulcast at videonewswire.com a full report may accessed for the teleconference later this afternoon by calling 1800-475-6701 access code # 501576 --- If you like Thisweekspick.com vote for us at; investorschat.com --- You are currently subscribed to analyst as: campaola@home.com To unsubscribe send a blank email to leave-analyst-14163V@lyris.thisweekspick.com

To: Cytotekk who wrote (309)	2/21/2000 11:22:00 AM
From: CIMA	Respond to of 349

Subject: Mantra from Dalai Lama Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2000 10:20:02 -0800 (PST) Dear All, Regardless of religion, these seem to be good ideas to follow through. Just a short Buddhist outlook on life. 1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. 3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all you actions. 4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. 5. Learn the rules so you'll know how to break them properly. 6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. 7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. 8. Spend some time alone every day. 9. Open you arms to change, but don't let go of your values. 10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. 11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time. 12. A loving atmosphere in you home is the foundation for you life. 13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past. 14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality. 15. Be gentle with the earth. 16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before. 17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. 18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. 19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. I also know that dreams really do come true and you have my Best Wishes and my best efforts in those. Regards, Dalai Lama __________________________________________________

To: Cytotekk who wrote (309)	12/7/2000 4:16:31 PM
From: CIMA	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 349

Subject: Important Facts... If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it) If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it) A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig) (How'd they figure this out, and why?) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Still can't get over that pig thing) (Don't try this at home...maybe at work? Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) (And pigs get 30-minute orgasms? Doesn't seem fair) The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmmmmm........) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. (If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?) The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...?) (Did taxpayers pay for this research??) Polar bears are left handed. (Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out, did they ask them?) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?) The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes...can you imagine?? And why pigs?) A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death. (Creepy) The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the....) (Well, at least pigs get a break there...) Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I still want to be a pig ... quality over quantity) Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, Geez) (That's almost as bad as catfish) An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too.) After reading all these, all I can say is............. Lucky Pigs...