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To: Green Receipt who wrote (7322)	8/5/1999 1:06:00 PM
From: broken_cookie	Respond to of 32883

Congratulations to you both.

To: Green Receipt who wrote (7322)	8/5/1999 1:16:00 PM
From: Cheeky Kid	Respond to of 32883

Congratulations

To: Green Receipt who wrote (7322)	8/5/1999 1:23:00 PM
From: Len	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 32883

What kind of degree does she have? I thought states required a business degree to sit for the exam. Len

To: Green Receipt who wrote (7322)	8/5/1999 3:58:00 PM
From: Mighty_Mezz	Respond to of 32883

Congratulations!!! Here's my favorite accountant joke. An Attorney and an Tax Accountant are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Attorney leans over to the Tax Accountant and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Tax Accountant just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Attorney persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains 'I ask you a question , and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.' Again, the Tax Accountant politely declines and tries to get some sleep. The Attorney, now somewhat agitated, says 'OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50!'This catches the Tax Accountant's complete attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Attorney asks the first question. 'What's the distance from the earth to the moon?' The Tax Accountant doesn't say a word, reaches in to his wallet, pull out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the Attorney. Now, it's the Tax Accountant's turn. He asks the Attorney: 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?' The Attorney looks at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his co-workers and friends he knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the Tax Accountant and hands him $50. The Tax Accountant politely takes the $50 and turns away to get back to sleep. The Attorney, more that a little miffed, shakes the Tax Accountant and asks, 'Well, so what IS the answer?' Without a word, the Tax Accountant reaches into his wallet, hands the Attorney $5 and goes back to sleep.

To: Green Receipt who wrote (7322)	8/5/1999 11:12:00 PM
From: David Lawrence	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 32883

Congratulations to Mrs. Stockwell, and condolences to her mate........ Accountant Humor What's the definition of an accountant? - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. What's the definition of a good tax accountant? - Someone who has a loophole named after him. When does a person decide to become an accountant? - When he realises he doesn't have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker. What does an accountant use for birth control? - His personality. What's an extroverted accountant? - One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own. What's an auditor? - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded. (My personal favorite) Why did the auditor cross the road? - Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year. There are three kinds of accountants in the world: those who can count and those who can't. How do you drive an accountant completely insane? - Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way. What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? - Depreciation. An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing. An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night." "Have you tried counting sheep?" "That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it." From a fellow bean-counter. :-)