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Technology Stocks : CMGI What is the latest news on this stock? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Scarecrow who wrote (12407)	8/5/1999 11:53:00 PM
From: James Thompson	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 19700

OT A little humor is called for. I picked the following humor from Stephen Reitmeister's newsletter dated July 4, 1999. Steven has published 40 Investment Newsletters, but he was offered gainful employment as Marketing Manager of the Zacks Advisor newsletter & web site and the soon to be launched Zacks Mutual Funds. I learned a lot from his writings. I recommend those who are interested go to Stephen's website and print the issues that are still available (through September 6, 1998). shrike.depaul.edu Best wishes, Jim Today's Stock Market Report Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Cows steered into a bull market. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off. Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. The market for raisins dried up. Coca Cola fizzled. Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. Sun peaked at midday. Balloon prices were inflated. Scott Tissue touched a new bottom. And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market *************** Merger Activity The last few weeks have seen many mergers, and anticipating them could mean excellent market gains. Here are some likely mergers to expect in the future. . . . Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers: New company will be called Fairwell Honeychild. Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: New company will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker. W.R. Grace Co., Fuller Brush Co., Mary Kay Cosmetics, and Hale Business Systems: New company will be called Hale Mary Fuller Grace. 3M & Goodyear: mmmGood John Deere & Abitibi-Price: Deere Abi Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil: Honey, I'm Home Denison Mines, Alliance, and Metal Mining: Mine, All Mine 3M, J.C. Penney, Metropolitan Opera Company: 3 Penney Opera Grey Poupon & Dockers Pants: Poupon Pants Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women: Knott NOW! Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco, Dakota Mining: Zip Audi Do-Da Xerox and Wurlitzer: They're going to make reproductive organs.