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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: E who wrote (52376)	8/20/1999 9:08:00 PM
From: jbe	Respond to of 108807

Duh.......<g>

To: E who wrote (52376)	8/21/1999 1:49:00 AM
From: jbe	Respond to of 108807

Here's a wild and crazy turn on "mistakes I may or may not have made" and on just about everything else (some editing was required). :-) Friday, Aug 20, 1999 Genome Project Found Dead MIT, today, moved man a quark closer to the cosmos. "This quark," said MIT CEO, Rebecca Kramer, "will very subtly change the sick molecule that makes myth make emotion make you just wanna puke." Kramer, who was living out of her car as she spoke, and doing a couplea 45 minutes sets at 3rd tier clubs 1 or 2 nights a week just to be able to afford 2 meals a day of Twinkies, burritos and coffee, told the angry mob that the subtly changed molecule would make "painless pain" a reality, in the same way that condoms on shotguns had, long ago, failed to make "safe violence" a reality. The angry mob had been collecting in the plaza throughout the week in response to Kramer's article in "My First Journal of Neuro-pathology" which had implied that not being such a <bleep> dickhead all the time, was all that separated any species from not being such a <bleep> dickhead at all. Eventually, though, everybody in the crowd either nodded out or OD'd on Kramer's driving round and round in circles through them as she spoke, never quite hitting anyone, but close enough so that if they hadn't been so <bleep> stoned on whatever dumbass concept they were there to defend, they would have immediately jumped out of the way and the riot troops would have moved in because they were all hopped up on, like, mercury switches and, like, on the technology of outdoor motion detectors that turn on a floodlight at the first sign of movement in the dark. "I don't want to send a signal to children that what I may have done is OK," Kramer told them, once they couldn't hear. Unfortunately all the clubs where she played were shut down by police for youthful indiscretion and she was forced to go back to work as editor-in-chief of the food product warning label: "warning: this food product may contain a frog eyelash, or two." Or else, unfortunately they caught her breaking into her office at MIT which wasn't really hers, she just lived there when its legal occupant was home eating silverfish anuses. Or goldfish anuses. Whichever. "I don't want to send a signal to children that what I may have done is OK," Kramer told police. She was promptly convicted and sentenced to a life term of endlessly editing and re-editing the food product warning label: "warning: this product may contain a frog eyelash or limbic system. Whichever." Or else, unfortunately, she won the Nobel Peach Prize for Inciting to Riot Under a Condom, and went on to teach at a university dedicated to coming up with product warning labels that one day could replace currently bogus and shallow and immature warning labels like "warning, this food product may contain messenger RNA with the following message: 'warning this messenger RNA may contain the gene for being unable to tell the police "I don't want to send a signal to children that what I may have done is OK."' And then where will civilization be?" c3f.com

To: E who wrote (52376)	8/21/1999 2:13:00 AM
From: jbe	Respond to of 108807

And here is the story about labels on gene-altered food, in case you missed it, and hence missed the significance of the title of the preceding piece ("Human Genome Project Found Dead"). search.washingtonpost.com I loved the bit about the pig genes... Joan

To: E who wrote (52376)	8/21/1999 11:15:00 AM
From: Edwarda	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

It's not much funnier than the picture of a parent saying, "Learn from the mistakes I may have made..." May have, Dad? Have you forgotten or something? Did those mistakes affect your brain or something?