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To: Roy F. Baker who wrote (23591)	8/23/1999 10:25:00 PM
From: VIPER85730	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 40688

Roy, Thanks for the laughs! Here's one back at ya! VIPER-------< ........................................................... Jane, tired of her life, decided to go and join a convent. Mother Superior told her "You must realize that this is a VERY strict order. There is much hard work to do and you are only allowed to speak TWO WORDS every TEN YEARS! Jane said "Mother Superior, I've heard it all before and I have nothing to say anyhow. I'd really like to join if you'll have me here". So she joins the convent and 10 years later, Mother Superior pays her a visit and says "How are you, my child"? Jane says "Food's cold"! Mother Superior says "Well, we can fix that". And for the next 10 years the food was warmer. And on her 20th anniversary, Mother Superior again asked her "How are you, my child"? To which Jane answered "Room's cold"! Mother Superior answered "Well, we can fix that" and for the next 10 years her room was warmer. And on her 30th anniversary, Mother Superior asked her again, "How are you, my child"? Jane screamed "I QUIT!" Mother Superior gave her a stern look and said "GOOD!!! That's all you've done is BITCH ever since you got here!"

To: Roy F. Baker who wrote (23591)	8/24/1999 10:13:00 AM
From: kaseyMIT	Respond to of 40688

Very good. I don't know if I can compete but here is my contribution to humor. A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt." A stranger walks up to him and whispers, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?" The golfer thinks the man is crazy and that his answer will be meaningless. At the same time he thinks this might be a good omen, so he says, "Okay," and sinks the putt. Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole." The same stranger moves to his side and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?" The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." He makes an eagle. On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, the stranger moves to his side and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?" The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the eagle. As the golfer walks to the club house, the stranger walks alongside and says, "You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from now on you will have no sex life." "Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "My name's... Father O'Malley." Courtesty of an e-mail. kc