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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (1515)	8/24/1999 8:04:00 AM
From: Katt-000	Respond to of 2380

The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol containers. Some of the suggestions are as follows: (Surely none of these could ever apply to any of us!) WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. **************************************** WARNING, the consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole. ************************************** WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN. ************************************** WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish. ************************************** WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 AM. ************************************** WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants. ************************************** WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). ************************************** WARNING, the consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead and knees. ************************************** WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck. ************************************* WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. ************************************ WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you. ************************************** WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear. **************************************** WARNING, the consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.

To: Susie924 who wrote (1515)	8/24/1999 9:42:00 AM
From: Zbyte	Respond to of 2380

A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughters bedroom. When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator. "What are you doing?" She exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement. When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on a sofa with her vibrator. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed. The daughter replied, "I'm 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband." A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room. Upon entering the room, she found her husband watching television with the vibrator buzzing away beside him on the couch. "What are you doing?" She asked. He replied, "Watching the game with my son-in-law.