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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Susie924 who wrote (1537)8/27/1999 1:48:00 AM
From: Barney  Respond to of 2380
 
Do you know me, Barney?????

Only in my dreams.... <VBG>

B



To: Susie924 who wrote (1537)8/27/1999 1:50:00 AM
From: Barney  Respond to of 2380
 
Subject: How About Some Oxymorons

35. State worker
34. Legally drunk
33. Exact estimate
32. Act naturally
31. Found missing
30. Resident alien
29. Genuine imitation
28. Airline Food
27. Good grief
26. Government organization
25. Sanitary landfill
24. Alone together
23. Small crowd
22. Business ethics
21. Soft rock
20. Butt Head
19. Military Intelligence
18. Sweet sorrow
17. Rural Metro (ambulance service)
16. "Now, then ..."
15. Passive aggression
14. Clearly misunderstood
13. Peace force
12. Extinct Life
11. Plastic glasses
10. Terribly pleased
9. Computer security
8. Political science
7. Tight slacks
6. Definite maybe
5. Pretty ugly
4. Rap music
3. Working vacation
2. Religious tolerance

And the number one top Oxymoron....

1. Microsoft Works




To: Susie924 who wrote (1537)8/27/1999 1:51:00 AM
From: Barney  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 2380
 
Just received this today. Down right silly!


Subject: OSHA To Whom It May Concern:

The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) has determined that the maximum safe load capacity on my butt is 2 persons at a time -- unless I install handrails or safety straps. As you have arrived 6th in line to ride my ass today, please take a number and wait your turn.

Thank you.



To: Susie924 who wrote (1537)8/27/1999 8:29:00 AM
From: Zbyte  Respond to of 2380
 
Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo
cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which
method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreo's:

1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time.
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite
afterwards.
4. In little feverous nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreo.

So tell me...How do you eat your OREOS?
Put your answers down now, then check below:

Your Personality:

1. The whole thing: This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.

2. One bite at a time. You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreo's this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's OK, not to worry, you're normal.

3. Slow and Methodical. You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly.
You're very meticulous in every detail with every thing you do to the point of being anal retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the fastlane if you're only going to go the speed limit.

4. Feverous Nibbles. Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental break downs and suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good.

5. Dunked. Every one likes you because you are always up beat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.

6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie. You have a highly
curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.

7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie. You are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's OK, you don't care, you got yours.

8. Just the cookie, not the inside. You enjoy pain.

9. I just like to lick them, not eat them. Stay away from small furry
animals and seek professional medical help -- immediately.

10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies. You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to upscale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a primadona. There's just no pleasing you.

IN OTHER WORDS, WE ARE ALL SICK AND TWISTED IN SOME WAY, ACCORDING TO
PSYCHOLOGISTS!