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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Michael M who wrote (54304)	9/3/1999 1:44:00 AM
From: greenspirit	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 108807

Mike, you've brought up some interesting insights related to the feelings thread. Let me see if I can add something to them. And give you my impressions as they as they relate, since I've been posting here for the better part of three years. Since women participate in far greater numbers on feelings. This thread is a reflection of societal norms as they relate to male/female dialogue and interactions. Words, literally read and spoken, are not as important as the tone of the conversation. Tone to women takes on a much higher level of importance in communication than words. It's one of the reasons I've gotten so used to putting smilies in posts where I express some very dry humor. When I first started posting here, few women realized I was mostly joking and baiting them in a sort of "tease my sister" way. I believe most men have a greater awareness and propensity to accept dry humor than women. It's kinda of the way guys bond, "Hey, good one! You got me"! Most times if done reasonably, it isn't perceived as a fight or argument quite so easily. But as in life, when men are around women, what we modify in tone is oftentimes to our betterment to reach deeper and meaningful levels of dialogue and interactions. Men engaged in verbal banter or dialogue with only men, normally get ruder and insulting much quicker. Especially when they have strongly held differing political or philisophical views. There is little doubt in my mind that your comment regarding "circling the wagon" is mostly correct. If a women is engaged in a debate of a heated nature with a man here, the level of discourse toward subject matter usually takes on a secondary importance level, than toward the importance of protecting the women from verbal bantering. With few exceptions, women will simply not openly disagree with one-another here. They will typically go into deep PM talk, or ignore it until the feelings or issues have worked themselves out. Men rarely shift into PM mode when a hot-button has been hit. Maybe it's our macho nature or something. But I have seen it happen time and time again to every single man at one time or another on this thread. I have interestingly noticed a change here the past 6 months since the arrival of Joan and E though. They tend to call a spade-a-spade related to the topic instead of examining who the poster is gender wise. Anyway, I hope I've made some sense, and I'm sure I've yacked long enough, so I'll say goodnight. Just some musings...And I hope my tone was ok! :-) Best, Michael

To: Michael M who wrote (54304)	9/3/1999 10:36:00 AM
From: Ilaine	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 108807

I know you have been a member of SI longer than I have, so maybe you can answer me this: is there a thread on SI that is devoted to interesting intellectual discussions that doesn't have a lot of women on it? Inquiring minds want to know. I followed the posts on your profile, and I don't see you posting anywhere but stock threads and Feelies. What do you think would happen if you started a thread devoted to male interests? Joan said, and I agree, that both Feelies and DAR have both men and women ~ my perception is that the majority of people who post on both are men. But there are a lot of women, too. The mix seems to be what keeps these threads interesting, IMHO.