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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (1639)	9/16/1999 11:15:00 AM
From: Barney	Respond to of 2380

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER TOO LONG... When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits. When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...". When you dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors. When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for omitting the "else" clause. You try to sleep, and think sleep(8 * 3600); /* sleep for 8 hours */ When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get to the next page. When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number... When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want. When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one. When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom window. When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal. When you look for a trash can icon for throwing away garbage.

To: Susie924 who wrote (1639)	9/17/1999 9:52:00 AM
From: Zbyte	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 2380

TOP TWENTY SIGNS SHE IS GETTING BORED HAVING SEX WITH YOU 20. After you request sex she replies, "Wait 'til the Nyquil kicks in." 19. Gets very upset when the ashtray falls off your ass. 18. Actually answers when you ask "Who's your daddy?" 17. Last time she screamed during sex was the first time she won at solitaire. 16. Only moans during commercial breaks. 15. Starts her fake orgasms during foreplay. 14. Keeps trying to set you up with her friends. 13. Runs for vacant Senate seat in New York. 12. You are currently sitting backstage at the Springer show. 11. Beginning to think she is only "playing" dead. 10. During the act, she actually yelled out, "Oh, Baby, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda." 9. Has suddenly started making you pay in advance. 8. Her moans of delight discovered to actually be a .wav file. 7. Instead of asking to leave her shirt on, she wants to leave her pants on too. 6. Keeps asking "Are you SURE you're not gay?" 5. Boredom? So that's why she keeps deflating.... 4. Holds up a picture of the Playboy centerfold to hurry you along. 3. Asks to be on top so she can balance her checkbook better. 2. She yells out her own name. 1. Bangs her head on the headboard BEFORE you begin.