Please indulge an OT Post as we enter the excitement stage:
Perhaps the Clintons should invest in ELH and GSJB so that they can afford thier new home.
Bill and Hilliary need your help:
> "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Clinton. Welcome to EZBreeZee Mortgages. I'm Alan
> Greenspan. No, no relation, sorry to say. May I call you Bill and
> Hillary? Fine, first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton and Bill it is.
> "So you want to buy the old Rye Brook place, 4-something acres, as I
> recall. That's $2.2 million, and, with the customary 20 percent down-
> that's $440,000 - that leaves a mortgage of $1,760,000.
> No problem. We do these kinds of deals all the time. Now let's just
> have a look at your financial statements.
>
> "Let's see. Mr. Clinton, you are the president of the United States,
> of course, and your salary is - oh, dear - $200,000 a year. We usually
> recommend buying a house that costs no more than two-and-a-half times
> your annual salary. That means you should be looking for something
> around $500,000, perhaps a nice brick rancher on a quarter of an
> acre, not too fancy a neighborhood?
>
> "And I see here that you'll be out of a job in 16 months or so. What
> will you do then? Open a library. In Little Rock, Arkansas. Wow! I bet
> that will be some kind of money-maker.
>
> "Mrs. Clinton, you're running for Senate, right?
>
> "Let's see. Senators are paid $130,000 a year - assuming, of course,
> you're elected - so even with Bill's pensions, you should still be
> looking for a house in the $325,000 range. Maybe a nice center-hall
> colonial where the schools aren't so good.
>
> "Mrs. Clinton, you haven't worked outside the home since 1991,
> correct?
> But you did some volunteer work, I see. You came up with a plan to
> overhaul the entire national health care system? I see. It flopped,
> in
> other words. But I see you had several business ventures back in
> Arkansas. How about this Whitewater Development Corp.?
>
> "It went bankrupt.
>
> "And Madison Guaranty?
>
> "Bankrupt.
>
> "And Castle Grande?
>
> "Bankrupt, too.
>
> "If you had gone to Yale Business School instead of Yale Law, you
> could probably get your money back. Now, don't get upset. It was just a
> little joke.
>
> "A little bad luck with the law, too, I see. Three of your business
> partners went to jail?
> "Maybe you could get your money back.
>
> "This is an embarrassing question, I know, but we have to ask because
> it does, after all, affect your ability to pay:
>
> Any problems in your marriage? No? Fine. "Let's look at your assets:
> $1.5 million. Not bad.
>
> "Yes, yes, Mr. Clinton, we're not forgetting your Mustang back in
> Little Rock.
>
> "But oh, those liabilities. You owe $5.5 million. That means you're
> $4 million in the hole.
>
> "How do you expect to pay that off?
>
> "You're hoping people will donate to a special fund.
>
> "So basically, you're relying on the chartity of strangers.
>
> "You also have some serious expenses. A kid at Stanford has got to be
> setting you back $30,000 to $35,000 a year, probably more with the
> air fares. And she wants to go to medical school? Ouch!
>
> "And Mr. Clinton. There's a little matter of a $90,000 fine for lying
> in court. I guess that rules out putting your law degree to work. Say,
> now, how do we know you're not lying on your loan application?
>
> "Good point. It would look a lot better if you were lying.
>
> "Are there any other legal matters we should know about?
>
> "You say you're in the clear, Mr. Clinton, and the first lady is
> 'pretty much in the clear indictment-wise'. What does that mean?
>
> "You don't think - don't think - she's going to get hit with a perjury
> or obstruction of justice rap. But we're not totally sure, right???
> "That means there's the remote possibility - note that I said
> 'remote'-that you could be trying to pay off a $1.76 million mortgage
> while making 12 cents an hour stitching mailbags for the feds and he
> is
> trying to make a go of a library in Little Rock.
>
> "Let's review the situation.
> "One of you is now unemployed and the other one soon will be.
>
> "You have these whopping great debts that you're hoping someone is
> going to come along and pay.
>
> "You have a financial history that can only with great charity be
> described as 'checkered* plus a bunch of serious financial demands and
> ongoing legal problems.
>
> "Your tangible assets seem to consist of an old Ford.
>
> "So, congratulations! Welcome to the EZBreeZee family of home-owners.
> You've got your mortgage!"
>
>
>
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