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Pastimes : Happy Hour: A thread for not so intelligent discussions -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Susie924 who wrote (1675)	9/23/1999 10:14:00 AM
From: Zbyte	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2380

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from hismother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, hecuts a photo in half and sends the top part. Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo. He is really worried when herealizes that he has sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad hisgrandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice. A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother It said, "Change your hair style. It makes your nose look too short!" Prayer for Senility God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never likedanyway,the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tellthe difference. Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered: I started outwith nothing, I still have most of it. My wild oats have turned to prunes and All Bran. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded ... All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair. If all is not lost, where is it? It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant. I wish the buck stopped here. I sure could use a few ... Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seatcause kids. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. Only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess? It's not hard to meet expenses ... they're everywhere. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. All of the clocks in Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag. If she were life size, Barbie's measurements are: 39-23-33. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silveror purple. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.>>* Almonds are members of the peach family. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. There are only four words in the English language which end in"-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. The longest place-name still in use is: Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoro- nukupokaiwenuakitanatahu, a New Zealand hill. Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A." A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur. In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer. The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross. The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its Wonderful Life. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world. Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Whyit's Paul Reiser himself. The male gypsy moth can "smell" the virgin female gypsy moth from 1.8 miles away. The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz." The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister. John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.