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Pastimes : The Naked Truth - Big Kahuna a Myth -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: MythMan who wrote (64018)	9/24/1999 8:55:00 AM
From: Cynic 2005	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 86076

I see spoos are just about to go positive. Dipsters diehard. Err - they don't die. Have you seen the uproar on Ballmer by SI pundits? UFB!!! For once these guys should learn to live with their mistakes. If they make money, it is their greatness. If they lose it is either GreenSpam's fault or the evil shorts have 'manipulated' it against them.

To: MythMan who wrote (64018)	9/24/1999 9:17:00 AM
From: eddie r gammon	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 86076

Something to read if you get bored watching the market go up today. ==================================================================== Dear Consumers: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 98 SUTHERN EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside the South. If you have one of these, you may need some help understanding the commands. The southern edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads "WINDERS 98" with a background picture of General Robert E. Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver. Also note: a. The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse" b. My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption" c. Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys" d. Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard" e. Hard Drive is referred to as "4 Wheel Drive" f. Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs" g. Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up. CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN SUTHERN EDITION: a. OK: ats aw-right b. Cancel: piss on it c. Reset: try er agin d. Yes: yep e. No: noop f. Find: hunt fer it g. Go to: over yonder h. Back: back yonder i. Help: hep me out here j. Stop: kwitit k. Start: crank er up l. Settings: sittins m. Programs: stuff at duz stuff n. Documents: stuff ah done did Also note that SUTHERN EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98: a. tiperiter: A word processing program b. colerin book: a graphics program c. cyferin mersheen: calculator d. outhouse paper: notepad e. jukebox: CD Player f. iner-net: Microsoft Explorer 4.0 g. pichers: A graphics viewer h. irs: MS accounting software i. irs2: MS accounting software with hidden files j. tax records: usually an empty file k. coon dog: American kennel club records You'll recognize WINDERS 98 SUTHERN EDITION as it comes preloaded with certain "Favorites" for browsing the Worldwide Web: a. Fishin': Bass Anglers Sportsman Society b. NRA: National Rifle Association c. Shotgun: Remington Arms home page d. Riffel: Winchester home page e. Pisstul: Smith & Wesson home page f. Truck: Ford & Chevy dealers by zip code g. House: Mobile home repair services & movers by zip code h. Cuzzins: Complete database of southern residents (extremely long download time) i. Bud: List of Budweiser distributors by zip code j. Rasin: NASCAR racing schedule with TV stations that carry the race k. Car'n'truck parts: Junk yards by zip code l. doc: veterinarians by zip code We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the SUTHERN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this heps y'all out! Billy Bob Gates Head Honcho, MS Sutherin Division ================================================================= erg