To: Susan Saline who wrote (22327 ) 9/25/1999 12:46:00 AM From: AlienTech Respond to of 43080
NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS by: abadstock (10/M/other) 8258 of 8492 Business Line, 14th Floor of a Texas Building Rabbit Junction, Texas, September 23, 1999----Interliant, a leading provider of boredom announced today that the stock will continue to trade sideways and in a frustrating manner. Co-Chairman Feld was quoted saying, "INIT will trade as if it doesn't exist duirng September which is a pretty neat trick for a publicly traded entity." INIT is now being prescribed as the leading remedy for investors who need to slow down, relax, take it easy and/or just sit by the dock on the bay while their money rots. Investors have tucked away their investment and many have stated, "Oh well, fuck it, screw price advancement." Investor Relations has assured investors that they can only lose another 12 dollars and that things will not look so bad when the NASDAQ sells off. The company hopes to be trading 200,000 shares by 2003 and is optimistic that sellers will soon grow as weary as buyers and just forget, forget, forget. Reports site that the Ladies Aid Society of Butte, Montanta have signed an agreement with INIT to deliver hosting services for their tea the first week of October, 1999 which officials have sited as proof that INIT is marching forward with their business plan to be the server with the most to the small business entity. The President of the Society was quoted as saying, "I sure hope INIT doesn't forget to bring those little cookies with the chocolate on top." INIT's price closed, well even again, upon rumors of this hosting alliance and hopes to pick up an 1/32nd of a point upon the rumor that the Salvation Army of Hartford, Kentucky may implement the vast array of server services provided by INIT at their annual picnic. Rumor has it that INIT is eyeing a barbeque restaurant in their ever expanding empire to cater the event. As the the Vice-President noted during the last audio report, "little cookies today, chicken tomorrow and who knows--after that---maybe even cole slaw and baked beans." Upon all this good news, investors remain hopeful that someone will buy a share of INIT sometime, somewhere for some or any reason. And CNBC reported that Harry Bloodguts of Mamma Lynch were in deep discussion today with SoftBank to see if they can get Softbank to move from Morgan Stanley To mommy lynch as their chief investmnent banker. Upon hearing this Morgan Stanley downgraded Mamma Lynch to a HOLD from a cuddle.