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Technology Stocks : How high will Microsoft fly? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Ex-INTCfan who wrote (30151)	9/26/1999 3:20:00 PM
From: puborectalis	Respond to of 74651

Last Chance For Y2K Satire September 23, 1999 I know that the prevailing attitude is that Y2K is an overhyped computer glitch that's been fixed before it even happens. Y2K survivalists have been totally discredited, and most of us are bored to death with the subject. But just for the hell of it, let's suppose the so-called experts are wrong. Suppose there is a hidden Y2K bug that sets off a cascade of disasters across the planet. I'm not talking about the kind of disasters you've read about, such as airplanes falling from the skies at the stroke of midnight. The real consequences of Y2K could be much more insidious. In 1996, I suggested that just to be safe, we defeat the Y2K bug and avoid huge repair costs simply by setting back the clocks and doing the 20th century all over again. My Y2K solution is still available, but not even my mother takes it seriously. "Oh, ha, that's a good one" is the most meaningful response I've received to date. My proposal would have saved nearly a trillion dollars. At the time, I suggested that we spend the money on solving niggling global problems such as starvation, AIDS and environmental disaster. Imagine the good that could have been done. Everyone screwed up by dismissing my idea the first time. Here's my final warning: I predict that sometime during the first 10 years of the 21st century, your digital lifestyle will come to an end when the Internet crashes, as the result of an as-yet-unknown Y2K bug. Most likely, the bug will be the result of Microsoft's efforts to make sure that the current version of Windows is Y2K-compliant. This bug will trigger massive redundancy in all Internet traffic among Windows-based computers, bringing the World Wide Web to its knees. The collapse of the Internet won't be permanent, but it will take years to recover. The end of what Mr. Bill calls the "Internet lifestyle" will be just the beginning. When the Net grinds to a halt, the price of Internet stocks like Amazon.com and EBay will drop to zero. IBM and Microsoft will follow and start the 21st century virtual version of a "run on the bank." Terrible inflation will soon follow, triggering massive food-hoarding, causing widespread starvation and eventually leading to worldwide rebellion. The phrase "a computer on every desktop running Microsoft software" will be as infamous as "Deutschland Über Alles" and "Attention, Kmart shoppers!" Looking back, the biggest damn mistake of the 20th century won't be world wars or global warming. It will be reliance on a single bloated operating system to run most of the world's computers. The folly of standardization should have been obvious: When the whole world relies on one gigantic kludge, every computer is vulnerable to the same software bugs. Dear reader, if you want to continue experiencing the prosperity of the "long boom," then you'd better dump Windows and switch to Linux. The massive Microsoft Internet Redundancy Bug (MIRB) will go into action at midnight, Dec. 31, 1999. Since its redundancy increases over time, MIRB could be mitigated if enough people switch to Linux quickly enough. And I'm not a Red Hat shareholder. Socially responsible nerds who have the technical skills to run Linux should erase Windows immediately! If 5 million nerds take action before that midnight, the collapse of the Internet will be delayed by six months. If we can then get a million PC users a month to make the switch, the Internet and life as we know it will be saved. The digital lifestyle can live on. The alternative is stark indeed. For one thing, people will have to venture out from behind their computer screens and learn to interact with each other. There will be an increase in skin cancer due to the fact that nerds will be exposed to the sun once more. We'll have to go to the store! Printable Version More by David Bunnell Last Chance For Y2K -- We must drop Windows and its hidden Y2K flaws.... September 23, 1999 Porn Sites Fight Back -- BoringCrap.com formed to counterattack Web ratings association.... May 12, 1999 Five-year-old Racks up Big Profits -- Sheila Jefferson-Davis is a born stock picker.... March 25, 1999 more ... New in Opinion GuruNet Thinks Different By LARRY MAGID Cashing in on a killer app.... The Ballmer Crash of '99 INSIDE UPSIDE By RICHARD L. BRANDT Way to go, Steve!... Last Chance For Y2K SATIRE By DAVID BUNNELL We must drop Windows and its hidden Y2K flaws.... more ... Financial Info MSFT quotes ratings